Why One Ought to Daydream in Science Class
by kz and the snazzy plotbunnies
Summary: Here's the magic equation: take 1 Narnia geek and add said geek into Narnia, taking into account the variables of an arch nemesis, a best friend, and a crush coming along for the ride too. The result? Actiony things and insanity abound! Ed/OC. Sum inside.
1. And Away We Go

**Disclaimer: **NARNIA!!! why must you evade my ownership???

hey! this is my first narnia fanfic, and it's pretty much random, motivated by a sugar rush and a love for both the series and the movies! so yup, this is what happens when a teenage girl is too obsessive over a series of books and has just enough time on her hands to write a fanfic! so r&r please!

**almost forgot... here's the summary**: Kacey Brinkley has always been, and probably always will be, an over-imaginative Narnia geek and an Edmund Pevensie fangirl... which kind of makes her a loser. But when she, her best friend, her crush, and her self-proclaimed mortal enemy find themselves in the world of Narnia in the famed Golden Age, well, things start going her way... or are they? Oh yes, she will find love and the true breathtaking beauty of Narnia, but will it all crumble to pieces when something wicked this way comes? The results of this author's hyper-active imagination? Fluffiness, extreme awesomeness, hilarity, drama, and hopefully a great fanfic. I will say this once and probably again: non-Mary Sue. Although it is Edmund/OC... Rated T for overly-flirtatious suitors, evil teenage girls, and Edmund's boyish attitude!

oh yes, and this is the revised version (due to my perfectionism), so anyone who read this before, things might look a bit different =).... fine... A LOT different....

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"You think there's any way we could get back? I left my new torch in Narnia!" Kacey recited the last line in perfect unison with the movie. She knew every line by heart, and seeing as she had watched _Prince Caspian_, oh, about 20 times already ever since she got the DVD for her 14th birthday last week, this wasn't at all alarming. Oh yes, this girl was a Narnia geek, and she was proud of it.

Though, this did present a bit of a problem, as she was so worked up about the movie that she couldn't seem to fall asleep. Especially when you add in the fact that she had just downed 7 gallons of cola.

So instead, Kacey lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling of her room, which was decorated with glow-in-the-dark stars that she had plastered up there when she was a 5-year-old, thinking about her favorite subject- Narnia, of all things! This was a favorite past-time of hers- she loved imagining Narnia was a real place that she could go to, where she could meet all of its inhabitants. She smiled as she imagined that it would be wondrous to meet all of the Pevensies, and (though she wouldn't be the one to admit it) grinned even wider when she thought of meeting Edmund in particular. She would become wonderful friends with the dryads and the nyads and the fauns, and perhaps, she would even meet Aslan! Though her mother might have a fit if she decided to move there, perhaps she could go to Narnia for vacation... and what a vacation that would be!

And as she was imagining all of these things, it was at that precise time that one of the stars above her decided to squelch her scheming by plopping down and hitting her on the nose. Rubbing her nose, Kacey decided that her ceiling needed a change of decoration, and she must take those stars down tomorrow after school. And with that, she promptly fell asleep, dreaming of Cair Paravel and lush forests and fields and of other things we shan't dabble too much into, because the mind of a hyperactive Narnia fangirl is a very scary place to be sometimes.

Waking up the next day, Kacey was very reluctant to get up from bed. She would have preferred to stay under the nice, warm sheets, turn on the DVD player, and watch _Prince Caspian_ again. However, those dreams were shattered as a loud, irritating beeping prompted her to rise from under the sheets in a way much like a zombie would rise from its grave. After trudging as slow as she could through her morning routine, she somehow (she doesn't quite remember how- maybe they invented some kind of fast-forwarding device?) ended up banging her head against her locker at school, trying to pry it open. Unsuccessfully.

"Well, someone's looking awfully chipper this morning!" sounded her best friend, Dani's sarcastic voice from behind her.

"Too much soda," Kacey looked up at her with tired eyes, pointed to her locker, and said, "Open... please."

As Dani got busy entering Kacey's combination in the lock, Janice, the third part of their trio, walked up and greeted the other two. "Morning. Hey, Kace, what's wrong with you?" she asked, noticing her sluggish demeanor.

"She's having a sugar hangover," called Dani, twisting the lock one more time and opening Kacey's locker with ease, "You're welcome."

Kacey mumbled a 'thank you' before getting her things. Together, the three of them walked to homeroom and took their seats.

Taking her seat next to a boy named Brian, Kacey immediately brightened up, and her face turned the faintest pink. If you add that reaction with the fact that Kacey is a boy-crazed teenage girl, you can probably deduce that she has taken a particular liking to said boy. To say it more simply, she has a crush on him.

This means that whenever she would say something like, "Morning, Brian" or "Forgot to do your French homework... _again_?", and he would look up, smile, and respond, Kacey would turn obnoxiously red. After a bit of small talk, Kacey would turn and talk to Janice, who sat behind her. This cycle has been going on every morning for the past 4 months, and Kacey had come to expect it. She also had come to expect that in three, two, one...

"Hey Brian," a flirtatious voice said, right on cue. Kacey rolled her eyes as Rachel Young (who she preferred to refer to as 'The Evil One') walked by, slapped her hands on Brian's desk in a dramatic fashion, and began her daily flirting session.

Janice made a face at Rachel's back, which like every part of her, radiated waves of evil-ness, as Kacey said, "I think my gag reflex is acting up," in a low tone, making sure that the words did not reach Rachel's ears. If they did, who knows what would happen?

If it wasn't apparent enough, Kacey was not, by all means, popular. Quite the contrary was the truth. On the school social ladder, Kacey and her friends were on the lower rungs, wedged between the skaters and the video game addicts. They were the braniacs. She thought that it described her rather well, as she was academically motivated, terrible at sports, and she did love books in a way that most tween girls loved the Jonas Brothers (ack!). And Kacey did not at all mind her position. She had loyal friends and a decent social life, and that's all that mattered to her (in the social aspect of things). She refused to sink to the level of sameness, where individuality was not at all recognized, and every girl was a mindless, gossiping, fad-obsessed clone, with their queen being Rachel (such was fitting). That would not be Kacey-ish at all. However, her reputation did have its drawbacks.

Such as the fact that you could _not_, unless you wanted to commit suicide, tell Rachel what you really thought, which in Kacey's case happened to mention the queen bee getting sucked into a black hole which transported her to a parallel world where there was just enough oxygen to survive for a few agonizing hours, though she would have probably already disappeared between the jaws of some terrifying creature that lived there. Yes, Kacey had spent many wasted hours dreaming of schemes such as these. Of course, she did not want to die a slow and painful death herself, so she settled for glaring viciously at the back of Rachel's head, which was covered in perfect chocolate brown curls, until she finally walked back to her own desk, restoring peace and happiness back to Kacey's little corner of the classroom.

For the rest of the period, as the class was learning about the surface area of 3-dimensional irregular figures (a subject that most everyone in the 8th grade stayed away from), Kacey stared at a poster of several smiley-faced numerals dancing around an equally cheery calculator, contemplating what people's names would be if the world decided to make things a bit more interesting and started to talk backwards.

Shortly after getting 'Yelsom Mailliw', Kacey realized that class was over, and nearly everyone was gone, except for a frustrated-looking Brian, who was waving a frantic hand in front of her face.

"Hey! Class is over! Kacey!" he was screaming into her ear. He had a look on his face as if questioning her sanity, which was something that Kacey was used to by now. Still, she blushed before packing up her things and hurrying to science class after him.

Walking into class, Kacey slammed her books onto her desk, a little too loudly to be considered out of tiredness. She half whispered, half yelled (she wondered how that worked out) at Dani and Janice, "I am forever in your debt for telling me that class is over!"

"Well, we wouldn't have to do that if you actually paid any attention," Janice retorted.

Kacey opened her mouth to object, but instead Mrs. McMullen's voice interrupted them, "Excuse me, ladies. Do you have a problem with your seat?"

Kacey's face reddened, and she sunk so low into her chair that her bottom would have had a nice encounter with the floor if she had gone any further.

She looked around at her classmates as Mrs. McMullen started to drone out instructions for an experiment the class was supposed to do. Apparently, the class had no interest in doing said experiment- Janice busied herself by fixing her hair in her compact mirror, a boy named Allen next to her was drawing a large pizza with pepperoni and mushrooms on his data sheet, obviously wondering when lunch would finally come, and Sean, the boy next to Allen, was wearing an ear flap hat with two very suspicious wires, presumably belonging to a set of MP3 headphones, sticking out of them, his head bobbing along to a silent tune.

Kacey assumed that it would be safe enough to slip away from Mrs. McMullen's lecture and resume her favorite past-time, as mentioned before. Closing her eyes, the image of Narnia came almost automatically, as if it had been waiting on her to slip away from the real world once again and recede into that quiet little place in her head. There was Cair Paravel, glimmering in the distance, next to an equally illuminating sea. In the air mingled the sound of water trickling slowly over a stream and a sleepy Narnian tune played on flute. A gentle breeze was floating through the forest, rustling the leaves and grasses. If she didn't know better, Kacey would have thought that she actually felt that breeze.

Her thoughts were abruptly interrupted with Janice's sudden outburst. "Hey! Can someone _please_ close the window? Some people are trying to fix their hair over here!"

This, of course, would have been a perfectly normal thing to hear, since Janice did worry about her hair quite a lot, and the windows were _always_ open during a warm spring day such as this one, with the air conditioner stubbornly refusing to cooperate. However, as Kacey turned to look at the windows they were all, oddly, tightly shut. Everyone's eyes wandered over to the air conditioner, wondering if some kind of miracle had happened, and it had magically started to operate again. It had not.

A sea of baffled faces could be seen throughout the room, all speculating what _was_ that odd breeze that was now blowing throughout the room. Just when the class had started to wonder whether they were all just imagining it (you never know, with the power of suggestion), or if someone had just cut a really big one, Kacey saw a strange sight on the chalk board.

There, smack in the middle of board, it looked as though someone had drawn a very vivid and believable drawing of a field filled with tall grasses and wild flowers, a small stream cutting through the middle and disappearing into a leafy forest on the far side of the picture. It might have been a trick of the eye, but was the water moving? And the leaves on the trees? Kacey took a closer look. Oh, no. They were _definitely_ moving. Apparently, this was the source of the mysterious breeze.

Kacey, cocking her head to the side, opened her mouth and started speaking incoherent gibberish. "I-I-I... Wait... What? I-I-I... B-but- what? P-p-picture! Water- m-m-moving... And I- and- and- and.... Narnia!

By this time, everyone had turned to look at the commotion unfolding at the front of the room. Looking at the moving drawing on the board, about 2 dozen jaws dropped so quickly to the floor that one would have thought that they were made of lead. Every pair of eyes was plastered to the sight, mixtures of surprise, disbelief, and awe gleaming in them. No one dared to move, even take in the shallowest intake of breath- everyone apart from Dani, who was slowly making her way to the board, reaching to touch the surface of the drawing.

When her eager fingers reached the drawing, they were not met by the cold hard surface of a board, but instead, a liquid-feeling sensation. Her soft touch disrupted the surface and caused a ripple of small waves to erupt along the surface.

As Dani withdrew her hand, her simple reaction was summed up in one word. "Cool."

Kacey broke into a grin as she stepped forward and poked the picture with one finger. More ripples. A few moments later, the pair soon found that they could insert an entire arm into the magical picture, which, by now, they had designated as a portal. To Narnia, they assumed.

"Hey, you don't suppose _we_ can fit through it, could we?" Dani asked, a smile playing on her lips.

"Only one way to find out!" Kacey replied, hoisting herself up on the ledge. She paused, as if remembering something. "Hey, Mrs. McMullen. You don't mind if we were to take a little break, would you?" She looked back at the gawping teacher. She did not reply, and Kacey took this as her having no objection to the idea. She jumped down and turned to Janice and looked at her with hopeful eyes. "You coming too, Janice?"

"I... I don't think so..." Janice said slowly.

Dani practically jumped on her, "Oh, come on! Where's your sense of adventure???"

Janice looked at her incredulously, "Dani, have you had any coffee this morning?"

"Yes, but just one cup! And that's beside the point. Why don't you come? Come on... It'll be funerific!"

"I don't want to!" was Janice's stubborn reply, and before Kacey or Dani could object, she pulled out her nail file and started furiously filing her nails, refusing to speak. Dani and Kacey poked her a few dozen times whining, "come _on_!", but Janice was using nail care as a shield against them. They eventually gave up and walked to the board in defeat.

"I don't suppose anyone else would want to come?"

For a moment, they were met by fearful eyes and silence, so the girls turned around to the portal, and Dani clambered up on the ledge.

"Wait!" a voice objected. Stepping out toward them was none other than Brian.

Dani raised an eyebrow at him. "Hmm?"

"Uhh... W-Well, you don't exactly know what's on the other side of that... portal... do you?" he said. In fact, Kacey was very knowledgeable of what would be there (as you know, she _was_ quite an avid fan of the books and movies), and she did have a pretty good idea of she was getting into. However, for the sake of Brian's dignity, she remained silent. "What if there's something dangerous there, a-and you get into trouble? So I was thinking that I could..."

His voice trailed off and he didn't finish his sentence, but Dani bluntly finished for him. "So, you were thinking that you could be our body guard." At this Brian nodded meekly. "Very heroic of you, but I think me and Kace can take care of ourselves." He still looked dismayed at this, and Dani finally sighed. She knew that having Brian there would completely distract Kacey, but he just looked so disappointed! "But, I guess you're welcome to go with us."

Brian smiled slightly, but they were interrupted with yet another voice. The whole room was really growing impatient at this point.

"Hey! I'm coming too!" announced Rachel's voice with such confidence and sureness that anyone with a sane mind would not have questioned her. Unfortunately, Dani was not quite right in the head (I say this only in the most polite way possible).

She furrowed her eyebrows at Rachel and told her simply, "No."

"Oh yes I am!" Rachel looped her arm around Brian's elbow, as if to reinforce the idea that he was not going anywhere without her. Brian shifted uncomfortably in her talon-like grip. That $50 manicure is sure to be painful when it's digging into your arm and all that.

As Dani started to stare her down, Kacey gave her a look that said, 'just let her go'. Dani sighed with defeat and disappeared through the portal, soon followed by Brian. Rachel gave Kacey a malicious grin before vanishing into the picture as well. Finally, with a sigh, Kacey climbed through too, deciding that it was best not to argue with Rachel if she wanted to go so badly.

Besides, if she was lucky, Rachel might get eaten by a minotaur.

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phew! well that was a long chapter! okay, so i hope you liked the new revised version better! please, please review! i practically live on them! i'll get the new chapter 2 up soon!

justplaincrazy8


	2. Edmund's Boyish Attitude!

**Disclaimer:** so, let me get this straight, i don't own narnia? no? okay.... how about peter? no? how about dear sweet, amazing ed? no? well, that's just not fair....

yay! edmund chapter! it's full of boyish attitude! :-D

r&r please

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Edmund Pevensie awoke, suddenly aware that there was bright light streaming into his room. He groaned with displeasure as his eyes fluttered open, wondering who dared to wake a king of Narnia up, especially when said king was not, by all means, a morning person, but rather a very effective swordsman. If it was one of those maids again, he would have to resist the urge to throw them in the dungeons.

However, it was not one of the maids, but instead his brother's voice that woke him up. "Come on Ed, rise and shine!"

Edmund sat up in his bed to see Peter pulling back all of the dark curtains in his room, flooding every dark corner with bright sunlight. He gave Ed a brilliant smile and started _whistling. _Honestly, did Peter know how annoying he was in the morning? Or did he just get pleasure out of making his brother, and in that matter, Susan and Lucy as well, even more peevish with his cheery disposition when they were all already sufficiently grouchy? The high king must be the only one in Narnia and even Archenland and Calormene who actually gets up before the sun rises, not because he has to, but out of his own accord.

"Honestly Pete, you do know the concept of _sleeping in_, don't you? We don't even have any work to do today- we have the festival!" Edmund said, throwing the sheets over his head.

Peter frowned at the one visible part of his brother- a small tuft of dark brown hair peeking out from the top of the covers. "All the more work to be done! Susan needs our help preparing for it." He dragged the sheets away from Edmund.

"Susan probably isn't even awake yet! And she's getting help from the dryads and nymphs, isn't she?" Edmund responded, keeping his eyes closed and going to his 'happy place' where Peter had normal sleeping habits and stayed in bed, instead of badgering his 15-year-old brother to go arrange flowers with Susan.

Helping out with the Festival of Flowers was not something that Edmund looked forward to. In fact, he never really had to help out because Lucy was always the one who helped Susan with preparations for all the parties. Unfortunately, Lucy was off visiting one of her friends out in Galma. All of Narnia and delegates from foreign lands would soon gather at Cair Paravel for the annual party, commemorating when the 100 Year Winter finally broke its hold on the land. There was always food and dancing and fireworks and of course, the Grand Hall would be filled with to the brim with flowers of all kinds. It was just a lot of jolly good fun, and Edmund always enjoyed the festivities.

He just avoided helping set up for them for two very credible reasons. One, he was absolutely useless when it came to decorating and making things look 'pretty'. Somebody else often had to go over and redo everything that Edmund had done, because apparently, he had done it the wrong way. Second, he really tended to stay away from anything that, after he was done, made him smell like a florist's shop had exploded all over him.

"Oh, come off it, Pete. Susan doesn't need _my_ help. If anything, I'll just make it worse!" Edmund spoke the absolute truth when he said this.

Peter sighed heavily and said, "Well, fine. But, I do feel like going for an early morning ride. You want to come along?"

Edmund finally gave in, getting up. "Oh fine. I might as well go, seeing as you've already woken me up," he grumbled as he staggered to get dressed. Maybe a ride is just what he needed to wake himself up.

After quickly dressing up, Edmund finally made it to the stables. He found Peter already waiting for him there, and the 18-year-old was already mounted on his own horse. Edmund, in one fluid motion, got up on the back of his own horse, Phillip.

"Ready?" Peter asked him. Edmund just nodded his head (for he was still a bit groggy to be too talkative at this point) as they took off from the stables.

Riding through the already busy courtyard, the pair stopped at the open gates to let a horse drawn carriage to come through. The horses were a beautiful dappled gray color, with jewel studded reins (to which Phillip snorted with jealousy), and the carriage itself was cream-colored and very ostentatious and lavish, certainly fit for a true delegate.

Peter, wondering whose it was, dismounted his horse and watched as the dappled horses drew the carriage to a stop in the middle of the courtyard. The driver immediately jumped out of his seat in the front and ran to open the door. However, the door had already opened by the time that he had gotten there and an impatient voice scolded him, "Honestly, can you get to the door _before_ we start getting wrinkles?"

With that, three women stepped out of the carriage with such grace and poise that it rivaled that of the Gentle Queen's. Dressed in the finest Archenlandian garb and draped in splendid jewelry, they stood in the middle of the courtyard, resembling life-sized dolls.

The woman on the right turned to her companion next to her, whom from the looks of it was her twin, and giggled, "Oh, sister, I highly doubt that we will be getting wrinkles anytime soon!" She grinned at her own joke and ran her gloved hand across her porcelain cheek, as if admiring its smoothness.

"Oh, no doubt, Lady Rosalie- not with our routine of bathing in milk and honey every morning!" she replied, tossing her blonde curls into the air. The twins then proceeded to compliment each other, as the third girl rolled her eyes at them.

Edmund, looking at them with amusement, leaned over to Peter joking, "You don't honestly think that Susan or Lucy would have invited _them,_ do you?"

However, instead of an amused expression on his face, Peter had a look of horror etched on his features.

"What's wrong, Pete?"

"Lady Rosalie... From Archenland... Um, Ed, do you remember that absolutely horrid courtier that tried to trap me in the South Garden and then proceeded to chase me halfway through the palace?" Peter said, grimacing.

Edmund smirked. Peter had countless courtiers, so many that they had stopped keeping track of them long ago. However, most everyone in the castle had remembered that particular incident a few months ago when a courtier was, shall we say, a little too eager to know Peter when she had come to visit. Both Edmund and Lucy had promised never to let him live that one down. Not that he would forget her anyway, since Peter had gotten at least three dozen love letters from her ever since her visit, and there was now a stack of unopened pink envelopes, stinking of rose water and some kind of noxious perfume, somewhere in the palace (hopefully near a fireplace).

"Yes... I remember her," Edmund said, trying (and failing) to stifle a laugh as a barely passable excuse for a cough.

Peter glared at him, "Well, that's her!"

"Then I would advise that we move along now, before they notice your presence."

Taking this advice, Peter quickly mounted his horse and raced for the gates as discreetly as he could, with Edmund trailing behind. And they almost did escape from the horrors of overly flirtatious girls, too. However, Peter's brilliant white horse was not something that was easily missed, even in a busy courtyard.

Reaching the gate, Peter had almost tasted his sweet freedom, when a ringing and annoyingly sharp voice cut through the morning air. "Well, well, well! Is that who I think it is? High King Peter! How _have_ you been?"

Peter's expression was one you would see on a little kid getting caught by his mother stealing cookies from the cookie jar- if the cookie was precious freedom and the mother was a scarily persistent suitor.

He let out a resigned sigh, as he stared longingly at the woods just outside the gates, perhaps contemplating if he should make a run for it. Well, Peter _was_ considerably faster on his horse than what Lady Rosalie could ever run, and factoring in the alarmingly high heels on those boots of hers, his chance of escaping her well-manicured clutches were pretty great. Hmm... Taking off would certainly not be proper kingly behavior at all. Then, again, he could always pretend not to have heard her... But who in the courtyard _hadn't_ heard that infernal screech?

Finally, with much resentment, Peter decided to at least greet the Lady and her companions- that's the least he could do (and hopefully, all he would do, if he was lucky). Besides, Susan would have a fit if she heard about any trace of improper behavior towards their guests.

Forcing a smile upon his features, Peter turned his horse around to face them.

"Oh! Lady Rosalie! Fancy seeing you here!" he said through gritted teeth.

Edmund smirked at him. "Oh, yes! Fancy that indeed!"

Peter shot him a really very nasty look before slipping back to his overly cheery facade. Both boys dismounted their horses and bowed, and in return, the ladies curtsied.

Edmund then stepped back and prepared himself for what surely would be an amazing display of his brother's incredible charm around women. The High King was not only known for his ingenious battle tactics, but also for his uncanny ability to make the opposite gender drop down unconscious just by entering the room. And a very impressive talent it was! Now, if only all the opposing armies were made up of entirely women! Then, they would be able to skip all those irksome battle plan meetings, and just have Peter step on out to the battlefield! Oh, how great that would be!

"Oh! Peter, darling, how I've missed you since our last... encounter! I do hope that you've been well!" Lady Rosalie grinned widely and batted Peter on the arm with a gloved hand.

Edmund could tell, Peter was doing his best not to look as uncomfortable as he felt. He was concealing a grimace beneath a sad attempt at a smile and scratched the back of his neck. "I've been better, actually... Who are your companions?" Peter asked, motioning to the two girls behind Rosalie.

"These are _just_ my sisters, Lady Haley," she motioned to her twin, "and Lady Alyssa." She motioned to the caramel haired girl to her right. Each girl curtsied, but Lady Rosalie dismissed them quickly. "So, on another note, did you receive my letters?" She looked at him with eager, expecting eyes.

Peter looked at her as if she had no idea what she was talking about. "Oh... uh... I... Hey! You've met my brother, Edmund before haven't you?" He pushed a reluctant Just King forward.

"Oh yes... King Edmund..." she said, uninterested, barely glancing at him, "How are you?"

Edmund frowned, returning her indifference. "I've been good... Marvelous, even! Those tax laws sure are a blast to write!" he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Lady Rosalie looked lost. Apparently, she was a bit too dim to get the joke. Edmund rolled his eyes and sighed. Luckily, the Lady was too busy oogling Peter to notice his un-kingly behavior.

For this, Edmund was eternally grateful. Sure, he never really got a lot attention from the opposite gender, but he was quite alright with that. He had never expressed much interest in any of his suitors anyway. Besides, it meant that he didn't have to deal with terribly flirtatious girls- not nearly as much as Peter did. It allowed him to get away with many more things.

Lady Rosalie had started talking with Peter again, giggling like the idiot she was (not to offend, but it _was _true). She was carefully inching her way toward Peter, leaning forward slightly. It was really very amusing to see- Peter backing up discreetly, Lady Rosalie pursuing him in a slow chase. Finally, Peter had reached an impasse, as he had backed up all the way to his horse, with his pursuer closing in, chattering noisily about the "absolutely _marvelous_" new tapestries she had just bought from Calormene. Peter, who was trying to shoo his uncooperative horse backward, glanced down and turned the most absurd color of red.

Lady Rosalie's, uh, bosom, was getting dangerously close to his left arm.

At this, Edmund decided that Peter had suffered enough. This unfortunate encounter would more than suffice as payback for waking him up this morning.

"If you would excuse me m'lady, but don't we have a morning ride to get to, Peter?" Edmund cut into Lady Rosalie's incessant babbling, making her turn around and saving Peter from a possibly apocalyptic encounter with the Breasts of Doom.

While Rosalie shot him a hostile glare, Edmund only smiled pleasantly at her, a hint of a cheeky grin showing.

"Ah! Yes! Yes we do!" was Peter's grateful response, and he hastily clambered up his horse, away from Lady Rosalie. "Then we shall see you at the ball." He added that last part almost regretfully.

The two kings rode quickly away, leaving a very pouty threesome of girls behind. The brothers exchanged glances, Peter giving the most thankful look he could muster, and Edmund looking very smug.

"Thank you for that, Ed," Peter said, his voice almost obscured by the rustling of branches that now surrounded them.

"Anything for you, brother," Edmund replied, "Though, I am sad to see her go. I have a feeling that she'll be a keeper!" He gave him a self-satisfied and superior smirk through the dense underbrush.

Glaring at him, Peter grumbled, "Just shut up and ride your horse, Edmund."

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yay! finally chapter 2 is done! i cannot promise that i will get the next chapter up soon, but i sure will try my hardest! so, please review if you can! enjoying it? not enjoying it? suggestions? all welcome! just don't be a meanie about it! so click that cute little green button down there! you know you waaant to!

justplaincrazy8


	3. The Complexity Of Yelling At Trees

**Disclaimer: **me:"if you do not hand over the deed to narnia, i will be forced to avada kadavra you!" lemony:"okay... first, i do not have the deed to narnia, you crazy lunatic! secondly... wrong fandom, dude..." me:"riiiight....."

back to kacey, then, is it? alrighty then! i shall be happy to oblige! oh, yes, and i guess i will keep all of my chapters relatively long, unless there is a case where i do not feel the need to write as much? sure! lets go with that!

r&r, please! before i send the hungarian horntail from my beloved hp fandom after you! oh yes, i am not above threatening to get my pwecious reviews! *laughs evilly*

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The first thing that Kacey experienced stepping through the portal and into Narnia was... a big mouthful of dirt. Yup- not a magnificent view of the sea, not an airy nymph giggling as she passed by, not even a whiff of whatever wonderful aroma Narnia possessed, but rather, a humongous helping of gritty Narnian soil. Granted, it was sort of her own fault that she tripped and fell on her face the first second she was in Narnia, but that fact couldn't be helped. She _was, _after all, the resident klutz back at home.

Besides, the more she thought about it... the soil, actually, did not taste all that bad. At least, considerably better than what would be found back in Connecticut (of course, she was very familiar with such things). It had the regular flavor of earth- mineral-ly and grimy- but it had an odd sweetness to it. Cinnamon, maybe? Oh yes, because Narnians just went around sprinkling the ground with spices. Kacey almost wanted to describe the flavor as... well, magic.

But then, a very logical thought popped into her head. Why was she contemplating the subtle variations of dirt anyway, when she was in _Narnia_, for Aslan's sake! Maybe that the _magic_ in the soil made people a bit delusional, too. Considering this was a _magical land_, she did not dismiss that idea.

"Hey! Are you just going to stay there eating dirt, or what?" Dani was staring at Kacey with an amused expression.

Kacey looked up at her and smirked. "It really is tasty! You should try some!" With that, she threw a clod of earth, aiming for Dani's head.

Unfortunately, Kacey was not blessed with great aiming skills, and the clod flew past Dani and hit an unsuspecting Rachel on the head, who was standing not far away, next to Brian. Rachel turned with an angry shriek and Dani was swallowed into a full fit of laughter. Now, while the expression on Kacey's face was truly apologetic, Dani knew better than to fall for it. She saw that hidden smirk, fully indicating that Kacey was holding back the laughter that was surely welling up inside of her. Perhaps, it also indicated that the 'missed' throw was not completely accidental.

Rachel glared at them with a fiery passion (though, it did make her look like she had a lazy eye) and looked like she was ready to explode. Kacey's eyes widened and prepared herself for an eruption that would surely rival Krakatoa. Rachel Young was infamous for her inexplicably volatile temperament.

As she opened her mouth though, she was cut off by Dani exclaiming, "Ooohh! Look at that! She's so... pretty..." She was pointing to a swirling mass of light lavender petals, miraculously taking the form of a lithe woman. She stood, well, _floated_, a few yards away, at the edge of a wood. She giggled and waved shyly at the four before turning and disappearing into the forest.

Kacey and Dani each absentmindedly raised a hand a wiggled a few fingers, watching her vanish. They had just realized the complete scope of the situation, and it all came rushing to them in a single flood of disbelief. For the first time since they stepped through the portal, Kacey and Dani actually _looked_ around at their surroundings.

When Kacey always talked about Narnia, she described it as a magical land filled with lush forests, sparkling streams, and majestic mountains. Well, not to be rude, but that made it sound a lot more ordinary than it actually was.

As far as the eye can see, was the most incredible wilderness that was so completely brilliant that nothing like it could possibly exist on earth. Sunlight shone on every blade of grass, every leaf on a tree, making them shine, as if they were made from magic, which could very well be possible. Sweet music floated in the air, a tune, played by a faun somewhere, and a mix of flowery scents tickled their noses.

By the time they were done with their little look-see, the two girls were grinning like idiots. They looked at each other, smiles plastered on their faces and at that moment, the same thought struck their heads. British. Accents.

"Bloody hell!" Kacey exclaimed, launching herself into an audacious and terribly exaggerated British accent, "Dani, I do believe I'm going nutty! Do you reckon that we're actually _in_ Narnia?"

Dani shrugged and said in an even more ridiculous accent, "Well, I don't know! You're the fanatic! You tell me! Because I know bugger all about Narnia!"

"Oh, bish bash bosh! Are you daft? I'd be gobsmacked if you didn't know as much as me about Narnia, seeing all those times I've dragged you to the movie theater to watch Prince Caspian, whilst they still _let_ me in the movie theatre!"

"Well, no need to be a spazmo about it! Hey! Do you reckon they have a loo around here? I really need to go!"

Rachel emitted a loud sneeze and glared at the two of them. "Can you, like, stop talking like idiots???" she interceded. She sneezed again as she mumbled under her breath something that sounded like, "Damn flowers..."

Usually, that glare would have struck fear into the very depths of Kacey's heart. This time however, she didn't even flinch. Perhaps it was because a girl could not be taken seriously when she was sneezing her guts out, or perhaps it was that Narnia had given her the bravery and stupidity to retaliate. Whether that was a good thing, or whether it was potentially disastrous, she did not know. But, for the moment, Kacey needed to blow off some steam. And that she did.

"Us? Talking rubbish? Bullocks!" Kacey gave Rachel an innocent smile as she refused to comply with her request. "Well, in any case, that's no reason to throw a wobbly!"

Rachel sneezed once again in response and tried unsuccessfully to shoot her a glare.

Dani wondered if Kacey had a death wish, though ticking Rachel off did look like such fun! So, she did what any (un)reasonable person would do. She joined in.

"I don't think she fancies us very much, Kace! But I expect that's only because she's such a prat!"

Kacey threw her a smile. "Oh, yes. I might even reckon that she has Loser's Lurgy!"

"Loser's Lurgy? Well, that's just going to Luna Lovegood territory there..... and I'm quite sure we're not in the Harry Potter fandom..."

"I'm certain that Luna wouldn't mind at all, though."

Both girls relished in Rachel's completely bewildered expression as she said, "You guys are-" *sneeze* "such-" *sneeze* "freaks!" *sneeze*

"You okay there, Rachel?" Brian asked, raising his eyebrows.

"What the heck is wrong with this stupid place?!" Rachel replied, glaring at some perfectly innocent flowers, "My damn allergies are acting up!" *sneeze*

"I think it's all of the happiness and cheerfulness that you're allergic to," Kacey cracked.

"No, idiot! Its all of these flipping flowers!" Rachel snapped, glaring at both Kacey and the flowers now. Just how she accomplished this is not certain (although, that lazy eye might have done something to help), but she turned around and marched into the woods, presumably in hope of finding a sanctuary from 'all this stupid pollen!', as she said, in the trees.

Dani only grinned at Rachel as she disappeared in the foliage. "Well, I'm quite sorry to hear that! Quite sorry!" she yelled after her. Then, turning to Kacey with a goofy grin glued onto her face, she said in her terribly-imitated British accent, "I do fancy some pud right about now though, don't you Kacey?"

"Ooooh! Yes! I LOVE pudding!" was the ecstatic response.

Brian looked bemusedly between the two before finally saying, "I guess I should go check where Rachel has gotten to. Knowing how stubborn she is, she's probably just waiting there for me to come 'rescue' her..."

The two girls shrugged their shoulders and watched him vanish into the trees.

"Okay, well now that the two of them are gone..." Dani grinned at Kacey.

"What?"

Dani rolled her eyes. "Oh, don't pretend that you aren't absolutely freaking out right now!"

"Well, yeah, since we're in a magical world that's not supposed to exist, one must be entitled to the act of 'freaking out'...."

"No! I mean, freaking out about the fact that your fictional dream Prince Charming might be just a few miles away from here! Sitting at his kingly throne at a kingly hall at Cair Paravel doing kingly duties! Oh! And with a kingly crown on his kingly head, too!"

"He is _not_ my Prince Charming!"

"Oh come on! You've been completely in love with Edmund Pevensie ever since you first picked up _The Lion, the Witch, and The Wardobe_. I think you preferred him to _real_ guys! Though, that can only be expected from a Narnia fangirl..."

"I prefer the term, 'devotee of hallucinatory, mystical purlieus', if you don't mind."

"Okay, well 'devotee', or not, you've still loooooved him since 4th grade... I can still remember what you said to me, too..."

***flashback! yay!***

A very happy-looking 9 year old girl sits on an extra large pillow in the reading corner of the classroom, hugging a book to her chest. She lets out an airy sigh as her red-headed companion plops down next to her.

"Well, you look chipper today, Kacey," the red-head says.

"That's 'cause I am..." Kacey replies dreamily, as she twirls a lock of dark blonde hair around her finger.

"Oh... _Why_?"

She turns to her friend and smiles. "Dani, I think I'm in love."

"Oh," Dani says simply, "Well, I hope it's not Marcus. I think he's got the chicken pox."

"Ew! No, not Marcus. His name is Edmund. Edmund Pevensie."

"I don't know any Edmunds... At least, I don't think so..."

"That's 'cause he's in a book. This one." She points to the book she's holding- _The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian._

Dani contemplates something for a moment and then says, "I think I know him. I thought he was supposed to be a big meanie."

"Well, that's only in the other book! He's really cool in this one!"

"Oh..." Dani says, silent for a moment. "Hey, Kacey?"

"Yeah, Dani?"

"How are you supposed to know if he's cute or not, if he's in a book?"

***end flashback! aw...***

"Haha... Marcus? Seriously?" Kacey said, laughing.

"I was right, though. He did have chicken pox. And he gave it to Rachel!"

"Well, then, nice job, Marcus!"

"But seriously, stop trying to deny it. If I can quote you, ahem ahem, 'He is British amazingness to the hundredth-'"

"Okay! Let's go see where Brian and Rachel went, shall we?" Kacey interjected, walking into the forest and trying to avoid the subject further.

However, Dani only followed her in, poking her with a stick that she found on the ground, repeating, "Admit it. Admit it. Admit it. ADMIT IT!"

Kacey managed to tune this out after the first ten seconds, although she was sure that all that constant poking would leave a very painful bruise on her arm later on. It was quite easy not to listen to Dani's grumblings since the wood was noisy with the sounds of spring everywhere. The chirping birds, rustling leaves, and the trickling streams acted very much like ear plugs would. After a few minutes of hiking though, Kacey realized that she had absolutely no idea where she was going, or even where Rachel and Brian went. She also noticed that the underbrush that they were hiking through was getting denser and denser the further on they walked.

"...Admit it. Admit it. Admi-"

"Dani! Shut up for a sec, will you?" Kacey said. "Do you have any idea where Rachel and Brian went?"

"Uh... No, I thought I was following your lead," she replied.

"Oh gosh..."

Dani popped up beside her with a questioning look. "Are you implying that we're lost, Ms. Brinkley?"

"Maybe..." Kacey said hesitantly, "These are the times where I wish I carried my map of Narnia with me everywhere..."

"You have a map of Na-" Dani stopped herself and sighed. "You would... Hey! Maybe we can ask directions from someone!"

"Who would we ask? The trees?"

"Well, this _is _Narnia... I've heard that they have some very smart trees around here!"

Kacey looked up around the canopies of the trees, wondering if they were, in fact, knowledgeable. They would have a good vantage point from that height, but did trees even have eyes?

"Hmm... It's worth a shot," she mused and then yelled up to the leafy greenness above, "Hey! Mrs. Tree! Have you seen a girl about ye tall? Brown curly hair, too much make up, wearing a really annoyingly pink outfit? Oh yeah, and she has a look of evil permanently etched on her face?" There was no reply from the tree.

"Here, let me try!" Dani said from beside her. "Excuse me, Mr. Oak Person, but did a boy about our age come by? He looks kinda confused, ya know?" Still, silence. "You can just, like, shake a branch or something if you did..." When there was no branch shaking, Dani let out a frustrated groan and turned to Kacey. "Not big talkers, these Narnian trees...I wonder if they speak whale! You know, I've mastered the art from Dory, in _Finding Nemo_!" Looking up to the trees again, Dani started letting out a sound that can only be described as a cross between a dolphin being pushed through a wood chipper and the sound that can be heard coming from the bathrooms after taco day at the school cafeteria.

"Dani! Dani, stop!" Kacey said, clapping her hand over her friend's mouth. "I don't think it's helping the situation much... Ugh! Stop licking my hand, you sicko!" She immediately whipped her hand away from her and wiped it on Dani's jeans. Dani smirked. Glaring at her, Kacey continued. "We need to approach this situation logically. We can't just wander around aimlessly- by the end of the day, we'll end up being eaten by a giant. Okay, so lemme just think..."

She closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on what she remembered about the geography of Narnia. However, her mind was constantly infiltrated with the image of a certain dark-haired Just King. She sighed, resenting herself, and she felt something poking her.

"Hey, Kace?" Dani whispered into her ear.

"What?" Kacey said, opening her eyes.

"Do you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"Just... listen!"

There was a silence between the two for a moment as they both strained to hear the strange noise that Dani was speaking of. First, Kacey heard nothing. And then, came the steady muffled beating. _Thump-thump, thump-thump_. It sounded like several horsemen were riding towards Kacey and Dani, and the beating grew louder and louder. Finally, there was a flash of movement through the trees. Both girls had stopped breathing.

Kacey turned her head and started to follow the movements through the trees. There was the glare of shiny metal armor and the clink of swords. She saw a bright red banner flying through the bushes with a lion emblazoned on it. Her heart seemed to be beating at a wildly breakneck speed as she started putting the pieces together. Finally, through thick trunks of the oaks, she saw a flash of gold and a flash of ebony, and she came to a realization. She then promptly collapsed on the ground (unfortunately, at a rather clumsy manner) and lost consciousness.

A very bewildered Dani was left standing as she flicked her head back and forth, looking from her unconscious friend on the ground to two rather regal looking young men on horses, surrounded by a group of guards, whom she guessed to be none other than the Pevensie brothers. They managed to look even more bewildered than Dani herself.

A sudden thought occurred to Dani, though, that made her smirk.

Looking down a Kacey she mumbled under her breath, "No use denying it now... She is _so_ obsessed."

* * *

okay! chapter 3 is done! SO MUCH DIALOGUE! arrrggg!!! anyways, i hope you enjoyed your first glimpse of dani and kacey's antics in Narnia in this chapter, and trust me, there will be much more! oh and i do apologize for that atrocious display of terribly done british accents- i am very ashamed of myself, because british accents are wayyy cooler than that, and to anyone who's name is marcus who got the chicken pox because i me, i'm sorry, too... it's all in the name of a *hopefully* good fanfic!

anyways, don't you just ADORE cliffies? i do *insert evil laugh here* so, review, because they keep me motivated to write quickly! and also, i can use my _inkheart_ powers and read a hungarian horntail from harry potter here! soooo uhh.... yes! review! i mean it!

justplaincrazy8


	4. A Portentous Amount of Sarcasm

**Disclaimer:** i am broke, so therefore i don't own narnia or have anything to buy the deed to narnia with. unless someone would be interested in trading it in for a poorly-written fanfic and an explosive banana?

ahhh, yes... i've changed the title yet again... deal with it... haha :)

sorry guys... i haven't been updating this for a loooong time! i've been so busy with end-of-the-year school stuff! but, now it's summer and i am officially a high-schooler! *cheers* and i guess i had a writer's block ... more like a wall, actually. a wall through which my creative juices can't flow through! but... yesterday night, inspiration struck me... and it was going like 96 miles per hour, right at my head, too... fortunately, i only sustained minor injuries! *more cheers*

well, i guess you don't want to hear my sorry excuses any longer, so on with the chapter then!!!

r&r?

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There was a loud thud as Peter dismounted his horse with a curious expression on his face- a rather comical mix of perplexity, curiosity, and worry. It was a rather silly expression to have on one's face, though he stood properly and erectly (only fitting for a king). He was dressed casually - a simple white cotton shirt, black trousers, and riding boots. Edmund was dressed in a similar fashion. Neither wore a crown upon his head, and if it weren't for the way they held themselves and their guard, one would have thought them as just commoners. Even from a distance, Dani could tell that Peter had at least a foot and a half on her and had quite a lot of muscle on him, though he couldn't be more than five years older than her.

Dani wondered whether she should bow to him - she felt it would be a terribly awkward feeling to do so (curtsying wasn't really her style). So instead, she opted for a bright smile and a cheery optimism that she wouldn't be thrown in the Cair Paravel dungeons for what she was about to do.

"Well, there you finally are!" she bellowed at them. "I was really hoping for _somebody_ to show up, you know, before we got attacked by a werewolf or something..." She took notice of the blank expression on Peter's face, and the wariness in Edmund's. "You see, I'm in a bit of a pickle here," she elaborated in a quieter voice, "I'm new to this place- _very_ new actually- and the only person who has the slightest bit of knowledge of this place is a bit... incapacitated." She pointed at Kacey, lying on the ground.

She took a few tentative steps toward them but grimaced as she saw several of the guards place anxious hands on the hilts of their very large swords. She stopped in her tracks and gave the guards a reproachful glare. "Honestly, do I really look that dangerous?" she said sarcastically, "Ooh, look! I can flick this rubber band at you! I'm so evil!"

"It is wise to always be on one's toes, miss," one of the guards told her, but he gave her the flicker of a smile.

Dani grinned back at him. "Sorry... Heavy artillery just makes me nervous for some odd reason, you know?"

At this, both Peter and Edmund cracked smiles. Peter walked forward and extended a polite hand. "King Peter the Magnificent," he said, "and that's King Edmund the Just."

"We really do prefer to be called just 'Edmund' and 'Peter', though... No need to bother with the 'king' stuff," Edmund said from behind him.

"Ahh... Okay then... Well, I'm Dani Dower and that's-"

"-Kacey Brinkley," a cheery voice from behind Dani interrupted her, "But we really prefer to be called just 'Kacey and 'Dani'. No need to bother with the 'Brinkley and the 'Dower' stuff..."

Dani turned around to find Kacey sitting up and smiling, though she was rubbing what looked like a very large bump on her head. "Kacey! OMG! You're alive!"

"Well, I would hope that I'm alive, or else I would start wondering what I'm doing, walking and talking like this..." Kacey grinned as she got up. "Oh, and, nice to meet you, Your Highnesses." She gave them a little curtsey and elbowed Dani to do the same. Dani smirked at her as she bowed down and elbowed Kacey's arm back.

"Oh, okay... Yeah... That hurts..." Kacey groaned, clutching her arm. "There was a bruise there from when I... fell!"

"Oh, sorry!" said Dani.

"Are you alright?" Peter asked raising his eyebrows.

"Never been better!" Kacey replied brightly, though her eyes were watering slightly.

"You must have fallen harder than I thought! Really, Kace, just fainting out of nowhere like that- you kinda scared me!"

"Fainted?" Edmund asked, and Kacey turned very red in the face.

Dani opened her mouth to explain, but Kacey replied quickly before she could divulge any more rather embarrassing things. "It was just shock. Most people aren't used to randomly popping up in magical countries and meeting their monarchs that they've only read about in books," she said casually.

"We're in a book?" Edmund asked, sharing a surprised glance with Peter. They doubted that they would be in very many books, as it was quite early in their rule. Even if they were in a book, it would most likely be found only in Narnia, as no one cared much about a country ruled by teenagers, magical or not. And judging by their attire, these two girls were clearly not from anywhere around here.

Kacey grimaced as she realized her mistake. She couldn't exactly explain to them that they were characters in a series of children's books written over 50 years ago. She had no idea how to tell them that none of them were supposed to exist, that Narnia wasn't supposed to be a real place, and that all of their adventures here weren't supposed to have happened. She couldn't tell them that they were all just a figment of C.S. Lewis's imagination any more than she could call the centaurs 'pwetty ponies!' without being chucked in the loony bin. So, she opted for a more... believable explanation, though it was not entirely true.

"Well...more like an... old document, really." She then explained in a very hurried voice, "Well, see at the library back home, that is to say back in Connecticut in the year 2009, oh by the way, we're from the future- just so you know because I really don't think I told you- anyways, at the library, I found this section with all of these old-looking documents and newspaper articles- see, I was working on a report for history class- and I happened upon this thing, it said it was written about 50 years ago (well, 50 years ago from _my_ time, so I suppose it's around _your_ time), and it told the whole story of Narnia and Aslan and the White Witch... It even told all about you guys! And I really liked the idea of it- you know, a magical world inside a wardrobe- but, well, I just kind of figured it was just some old story- I'm not really used to the idea of magical lands being real, you know- but I thought it was just really cool, so well, I, well, I tend to not pay attention in class anyway, so I occasionally daydream about it... And well, and and I-I never actually thought it would be real." Kacey finished her confusing explanation on that rather lame note.

She sighed at the bewildered expression on both of Peter and Edmund's faces. Even Dani looked a little perplexed. See, her... improvised... explanation would be perfectly believable, thanks to the fact that Kacey was very accomplished at making up stories on the spot (one would believe so with an imagination like hers). Besides, the story did have a bit of truth to it... She _did_ find out all about Narnia from something she found at the library (C.S. Lewis's works, of course), and they were most certainly written 50 years ago according to the copyright page, and she does occasionally (if everyday could be considered occasional) daydream about Narnia, _and_ never, even in that convoluted dream world of hers, did Kacey imagine that she would actually find herself in Narnia. The only thing was, Kacey did tend to babble and stutter and talk ridiculously fast when she gets nervous... And lying to a couple of Narnian kings is just one of those things that makes Kacey Brinkley nervous.

"Could you please repeat that, a bit more slowly?" Edmund said, a slight smile on his face.

Kacey opened her mouth slightly in shock. Could this possibly mean that they actually believed her? She stammered, "Well, I-I-"

"Okay, well, key points," said Dani, who appeared to have gotten over her befuddlement and was now grinning at Kacey with understanding and mischief. "Basically, me and Kacey are from Connecticut as in America-Connecticut, and we're from 2009. Okay, so Kacey finds old document in library because Kacey is a dork like that, and she actually _goes_ to the library. Old document is about Narnia and Kacey learns all about it. Kacey, again, because she is such a dork-" at this, Kacey gave her a dangerous glare "-daydreams about Narnia in class when she's _supposed_ to be paying attention and copying the notes so I can get them from her later. While Kacey is daydreaming, magical portal appears-"

"Magical portal?" Peter suddenly interrupted.

"Yes, Mr. I-Need-To-Listen-When-Dani-Is-Telling-Me-Something, a magical portal to Narnia," Dani told him, smirking slightly, "I suspect it was Kacey's doing, with that brain of hers. All of _our_ tiny minds bow down to it." At this point, Kacey was trying very hard not to smile at Dani's rant. "Anyways, me, Kace, Brian, and Rachel go through it and end up here." At the mention of their names Dani suddenly remembered. "Brian and Rachel! Where do you think they went off to, Kace?"

"Oh yeah..." Kacey said and then turning to Peter, she told him, "See we came here with two other people... Brian's about ye tall, and he has really short brown hair, and he's probably going to have this really dazed expression on his face- yeah, that happens a lot- and he has this really cute little-" She stopped short- she had almost told him about that adorable little dimple Brian had on his left cheek. "-this really cute little... sock. Um, yeah, it has Christmas elves all over it... Well, anyways, it's really important we find him- he's kinda clueless about Narnia, so who knows what kind of trouble he'll get into..."

"Oh, alright..." Peter said, "Wait- what about the other girl? Rachel?"

"Oh..." Kacey said. In truth, she did not care one bit about what happened to Rachel. Narnia was probably better off without her airheaded, giggling, annoying muck. It wouldn't surprise Kacey if Rachel had been dragged away by a troop of dwarfs, anyway... Probably called them 'midgets'...

"...Yeah... her, too..." Kacey replied reluctantly.

"I'll get some of my guard to go look for them," Peter said, nodding to a couple of leopards who nodded back and silently disappeared into the trees. Kacey dearly wished the guards some luck. She could only imagine Rachel's reaction when she finds a couple of leopards talking to her as if that was normal behavior for wild animals...

"Sooo... What now?" Dani said brightly.

"We can't exactly leave you here, wandering the woods, can we?" Edmund said.

Kacey looked around the clearing. "Hmmm... I dunno... A girl can get pretty comfortable here... You know, sleeping on rocks, getting attacked by creepers... Yup! That's the life!" she retorted, suppressing a smile.

"Hardy har har, very funny," said Edmund dryly, "Keep on giving cheek like that, and maybe we _will_ leave you out here, ma'am."

"Ma'am? That makes me feel old... I think I prefer 'Kacey', thank you very much."

"Well, sorry then, _Kacey_," Edmund said, grinning.

When he and Peter turned around to remount their horses, Dani gave Kacey a knowing look as she mouthed, "Ma'am?" She merely chuckled as Kacey absurdly red, quite the opposite from her calm facade just a few moments before. She was extremely grateful that the two kings were turned around.

"Oi! Are you two just going to stand there, or are we going?" Peter called from the horses.

Dani squeaked happily as she grabbed Kacey by the arm, ushered her over, and enthusiastically said, "Are we going where I think we're going?!?!"

Peter looked at her grinning up at him and raised his eyebrows. "Well, Susan always does love entertaining guests, and I could never deprive her of a chance to show off her brilliant hosting skills."

At this, Dani squeaked again and started hyperventilating.

Kacey stared at her, amused. "Holy crap, Dani. I think you're more excited than me... Now tell me, who's the Narnia geek again?"

"But, Kacey! I've never been in a castle!" Dani blurted out, "Never, ever, never!" With that she turned around and, with Peter's help, clambered up on the horse behind him.

"Wait... I've never been in a castle either!" Kacey told her, but Dani wasn't paying attention. She was a bit too busy asking Peter if the 'imperial and grand walls and towers of Cair Paravel glistened and shined and sparkled in the early morning sun'.

"Huh... Haven't seen her this excited since she found out that they gave out free chocolate at Hershey Park..." Kacey wondered aloud as she felt a tap on her shoulder.

"Are you getting on or would you rather walk?" Edmund grinned at her.

Kacey made a face at him as she scrambled up on Phillip's chestnut back. She couldn't fathom the idea that she was actually going to see Cair Paravel. The _real _one- not the cheap mini cardboard version she made for an art project (though admittedly, it did earn her an 'A' in that class).

"Hey, Kacey?" Edmund said from in front of her.

"Hmm?"

"I don't suppose you've ever been to a Narnian party, have you?"

* * *

huh, a bit shorter than my usual standards, but it will have to do... hmmm... even though i know i've been a terrible authoress, making you wait for over a month, but i don't suppose it would be too much of a lost cause to ask for reviews?

justplaincrazy8


	5. AHH! How'd A 'Sue Get In Here?

**Disclaimer:** me- "haha! i own narnia!" dude in the background- "am i going to have to sit on your head again?" (if you have not watched 'prince caspian' like it was the end of the world like me, this joke is lost on you...)

i know, i know... you're probably going like 'GASP! she actually updated... how scandalous!'

hmmm... can someone tell me where all of my wonderful reviewers went? yes, yes... i know that i deserved not getting reviews for not updating for like a month, but i'm hoping (with my PUPPY DOG EYES, mind you) that, you peoples will take like 20 seconds and grace my reviews page and click that little green button down there after you read? please?

* * *

The flowery scent of, well, _flowers_, wafted in with a breeze through the open window. Kacey, however, was much too busy hitting herself with a pillow to appreciate the wonderful scents coming from the courtyard. Muffled words such as "idiot", "arse", and "stupid fricking 'Sues" were coming from the mess of static cling-y hair lying on the soft bed.

Kacey did not stop her odd form of self-inflicted pain as she heard the door open and close loudly. She was sure that it would be Dani. No maid in Cair Paravel could even muster that much energy today, thanks to the fact that there was a rather large amount of guests staying for Festival of Flowers, and the maids were getting quite a workout running through the castle already.

"Oh, you've _got _to be kidding me..." Dani said, a perfect impression of Trumpkin from _Prince Caspian_.

"You know, you should consider a career in acting... as a dwarf," Kacey said, hoping that Dani would get the point that she was in no mood to talk.

Dani frowned as she snatched Kacey's pillow from her. "I'll pretend that you didn't say that, since you're not in your right mind... and I'm taller than you, O Short One." Then glancing around at Kacey's newly appointed room she gave a little 'humph!' and said, "Huh, I think you got a better room than me! I like the color on the walls better than mine, at least."

The room that they had graciously provided Kacey at Cair was not exceptionally large, though it was slightly larger than her own room back at home. In the very middle, taking up most of the room, sat a queen sized bed dressed in the softest blankets Kacey had ever felt. At the foot of the bed was a very pretty hand-painted chest depicting mermaids swimming along the beach next to Cair Paravel. On one side of the room was a dresser made of very dark wood and at the other side, a couple of cozy-looking chairs sat next to the window which overlooked the main courtyard and the entrance of what seemed like a little garden path on the side. The walls were...

"What are you talking about? The walls are white," Kacey said.

"Yeah, but you should see what color my room is painted... This freakish light pink... It's terrible..."

Kacey only stared at her, grabbed the pillow, and started squishing it onto her head. She then let out a yelp of pain- she had hit herself in precisely the same spot she happened to have a very large bump from her little spill that morning. Pausing for a second, Kacey continued to hit herself in that same spot.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Dani said in a half-incredulous, half-sympathetic voice, "Why?"

Kacey stopped and pouted, staring hard at Dani for a moment. Then she exclaimed, "The bloody Mary-Sues!"

It had almost looked like Dani understood, but then she said in a very bewildered tone, "Um... You lost me... I have a cousin named Mary Sue, but I don't know how you could have met her... She's in Zimbabwe..."

"Okay then, Dani..." Kacey said, staring at her friend, "What's your cousin doing in Zimbabwe?"

"Huh... Well, I've never really thought to ask her- it just sounded cool... Maybe she's teaching under-privileged teenage chimpanzees how to open coconuts?"

"Right."

"Well, what do you have against people named Mary-Sue, anyway? My cousin is actually very nice..."

Kacey let herself fall back on the bed and groaned to the ceiling, "A Mary-Sue is something that I refuse to be! I won't, I won't, I won't!"

"Yeah, um, Kace... That doesn't help me here..."

"A Mary-Sue is an _evil_ being..." Kacey said, with unnecessary viciousness in her tone, "A random, annoyingly perfect character that falls into a fandom and who falls in looove with one of the main characters, instantly! The main character is turned to the dark side- out-of-characterness- and is completely wooed by their perfectness and amazing amazingness, and they both live happy ever after!" She glared dangerously at the ceiling. "They're also usually a bit dim," she added miserably.

"Ahhh... Is someone taking their anger out on fanfiction because they like Edmund?"

"Am not! The 'Sues are turning me to their evil ways..."

"Oh, please, Kacey. Well, actually, now that I think about it, you do sound awfully like a 'Sue..." Dani said, and Kacey smirked at her, "But then... there's always the problem of how YOU ABSOLUTELY DO NOT SOUND LIKE A MARY-SUE!" When Kacey only looked at her helplessly Dani added, "Yeah, 'wooed by their perfectness'... sounds exactly like you, especially at how _perfectly_ you fainted upon seeing a couple of Narnian kings this morning..."

Kacey's expression did not change- she still looked as helpless and miserable as ever. She could only think of that absolutely awful moment back in the forest...

***flashback, again!***

"Wow... It's all so pretty... and Narnia-y..." Kacey said, her voice wavering a bit due to the constant up and down-ness of Phillip, "I just wanna..."

"...wander around aimlessly in a forest until a couple of kings find you?" Edmund turned around and grinned that cute little boyish grin of his.

"E-exactly," Kacey said in a strained voice, staring at the back of his head with a dumbstruck expression on her face.

When he grinned at her, several thoughts had popped into her brain- thoughts that she, as a self-respecting Narnia fanfiction author, was very ashamed of thinking. These thoughts that she thought are so terribly unworthy of written expression that it would be deemed an atrocious crime in the writing community to pen them. However, I will say that they were disturbingly reminiscent of Mary-Sues and involved ranting endlessly about 'getting abysmally lost in Edmund's eyes and their light brown amazingness'.

Kacey looked at her hands in horror, sickened by herself and saw that they were tightly wrapped around Edmund. She immediately whipped them off, resulting in her almost toppling off Phillip. No. She couldn't have actually thought that. She had much more control than that. Wasn't it her, after all, who started calling particular girls in her school, 'Mary-Sue' regarding it as the insult of all insults (though, the girls in question did not really know what, in the name of Aslan, she was talking about). It was completely against all of her moral principles as a Narnia geek...

Yet, she _had_ thought it, despite that... It just didn't make sense... Unless... Unless, she was meant to be a Mary-Sue! Always have, always will...

"Curse you, Edmund Pevensie Fanclub," she muttered under her breath.

"What was that?" Edmund asked.

"Nothing!"

She stared at the ground nauseous and wanting to throw up, and did not look up or speak for the rest of the trip.

***end flashback***

She was furious at herself, wanting to follow Dobby's lead and find an iron to run over her ears with. She eyed the candelabra sitting on the dresser hopefully, but a thought came to her head- a simply genius idea in her opinion.

Kacey looked up, grinning happily at Dani, who looked at her enthusiastically. "That's it...the solution!" Kacey started, grinning as Dani's eyes widened. "I just won't like him anymore!" she exclaimed, throwing her hands up as if this was the most brilliant plan ever.

Dani's face fell faster than a big ol' hunk of cement. "What?"

"From now on, Dani, I will be Miss Platonic. You are looking at the brand new president CEO cheif person of I Am Totally Not In Love With Edmund Pevensie Incorporated! Take that, epf!"

"Epf? Epf?" Dani asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

"Yeah. E-P-F! Epf! Stands for Edmund Pevensie Fanclub, but it's really a lot more fun saying 'epf'!"

"It sounds like you're gagging on chocolate pudding."

Kacey pretended not to hear her. "But, it's just so simple! I just have to use every once of my moral fiber to imagine him as not Edmund Pevensie, but as... Edward Cullen! Yeah... that should keep me away... The solution is just as easy as that!"

"Yeah... I'd like to see this plan actually in action before you write it off as easy- it should be fun to watch..." Dani eyed her skeptically. Then muttering she said, "And Edward Cullen isn't that bad... He's just really... intense sometimes..."

"Oh, Dani, dear sweet naive Dani... You're being such a pessimist!"

"Oh, just admit you like the poor boy already and kiss him!" Dani said, "Don't make me do it..."

Kacey stopped grinning and looked at her with a wary expression on her face. "You wouldn't..."

Dani grinned at her maliciously, cleared her throat, and started singing in a surprisingly good voice, "'Cause you can't help it if he looks like an angel! Can't help it if you wanna kiss him in the rain, so come feel this magic you've been feeling since you met him! Can't help it if there's no one else! Oooh, you can't help yourself!'"

Kacey thrust the pillow she was holding as hard as she could at Dani's head, saying, "Ugh... I hate it when you go all 'Taylor Swift' on me..."

"I'm also willing to sing my favorite song from _Hercules_! 'I Won't Say I'm In Love' has a wonderfully catchy tune!"

"Oh, please, no..."

But just as Dani cleared her throat once more, there was a knock on the door.

"Hullo?" a soft voice echoed through the door.

"Oh, how I love those British accents..." Kacey said.

"AHA! So you admit it! You do LURVE his accent!" Dani exclaimed.

"I never admitted to anything," Kacey said, miffed. Before Dani could think up of a witty retort though, she turned around and marched off to answer the door.

When she swung open the door an extremely large amount of fabric was there to greet her. "Um? Hi?"

"Hullo there, miss!" a voice said from within the folds of silk and taffeta. It struck Kacey as slightly odd to have clothing talking to her, but did not find it entirely surprising. This _was_ Narnia, after all...

But then, two little horns and a large mass of extremely curly dark brown hair popped out of all the petticoats, soon followed by the very friendly face of a faun. "Queen Susan has asked me to bring these up- they're old dresses of hers. She said something about 'more suitable clothing- honestly!'..." The faun surveyed Kacey's clothes- jeans, a brown sweatshirt, a blue t-shirt underneath, and her favorite pair of purple Converses on which she had written a number of things, including the words 'WUMBO' and 'spazztic is fantastic!'

The faun then looked up and smiled at Kacey, saying, "I for one, think that your clothing is very intriguing..." She quizzically glanced at Kacey's shoes again before continuing. "The Queen is sure that these will fit you very well, but I can make any alterations if they are needed."

Dani came up and examined one of the dresses. It was a very dark midnight blue with golden lace and a gold petticoat underneath it, had quite a poofy skirt, and at the elbow, the long-sleeved arms flared out rather explosively. "And we're supposed to wear dresses like these.... everyday? Isn't this one a bit... fancy?"

"Oh, yes, of course. That one is just for the festival tonight- if you two should decide that you wanted to come, that is! It is very much a joyous occasion, and Queen Susan is very accomplished at throwing parties." She beamed at them.

"Sure! We've never been to a ball before..."

"Excellent!" The faun then pushed her way through the door (quite an effort, I'd say, with all those dresses), threw down the garments on the bed, and ushered a reluctant Dani into a bright red ball gown.

"Does it really have to be this... fluffy?" Dani said uneasily.

Kacey grinned knowingly. While she herself was rather excited at the prospect of wearing Narnian clothing, Dani was never a dress kind of girl. When Kacey had told her that in Narnia, girls wore dresses for _everything, _Dani simply stated that she would just be a pirate, further explaining that if anybody tried to stuff her into a dress, she would 'slice up those scallywags and have them for breakfast... with rum'.

Laughing to herself, Kacey turned to the door to close it, and as she did, she heard a familiar voice echoing down the corridor.

".... leave us in the forest, those idiots, and send a couple of _monsters _to go look for us. I really deserve much better than all this crap I'm taking..." the high-pitched voice fumed.

Huh. Looks like they found Rachel...

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hmmm... another short chapter, this one, but next chapter is the ball/festival thingy! *cheers* sorry to all edward cullen fans, but i really do prefer the other ed.... and kacey does, too, don't worry... though she swears not to like him, i have a feeling she'll have a bit of trouble with that.... just a bit.... please, PLEASE, review! i really do appreciate the feedback, and if you review, you get a.... crumple-horned snorkack! they're very rare- you can only find them in sweden! (sorry... i'm in a bit of a harry potter mood again today... hence the dobby the house elf reference) REVIEW! I MEAN IT! (if you didn't already get that from the capital letters...)

-justplaincrazy8


	6. A Rather Interesting Party

**Disclaimer:** I may own a tube of toothpaste, and I may own a DVD of _Finding Nemo_ (dory is frickin' cool!), but I do not own Narnia.... Or Edmund *starts making sniffy, crying, depressed noises*

well, hello there people! hmmm... i think i'm finally getting into my writing groove... and that means less time slacking off, eating cheetos and gummi worms and watching jeopardy!, and more time working on this story! yay!

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Kacey tugged absentmindedly at the amazingly poofy sleeves of her dress (she ended up wearing that midnight blue and gold number) as the sounds of people talking and laughing echoed down the hallway, though the party was a floor below them. Dani was walking beside her, trying to flatten down her unruly mess of dark red hair and make it a bit more presentable. As it had turned out, there _was_ a dress in that mountain of clothes that did not incorporate such a massive amount of fabric as the others, and Dani was pleased with it- a dark forest green dress that was very high-waisted and rather flowy, with long sleeves that were quite poofy at the shoulders. As Susan's old clothes had fitted them both pretty well, the maid had not needed to do much work on them, and the two girls, if I do say so myself, looked rather lovely.

While Dani continued to fiddle with her uncooperative hair, there came a thud, crash, clatter, and "oops!" from behind her.

Kacey was sitting in on the floor with an apologetic look on her face, as several pieces of metal continued to clatter around her- she had apparently knocked into a suit of armor in her daze. This did not surprise Dani much, as there was always that common equation that applied to her everyday life: Kacey + daydreaming + very valuable and/or delicate things = the inevitable "CRASH".

"Huh, what do you suppose that was, Melian?" a soft voice said, not far away. The furry face of a fox peeked out from a corner, followed by the face of a young girl who could not be more than a few years younger than Kacey and Dani.

As Kacey stood up and brushed herself off, she almost immediately recognized who the girl was. She had copper-colored locks, on which sat a delicate circlet of gold, and she had that inexplicable air of nobility and royalty. Plus, like Mr. Tumnus had said, she _did_ have Edmund's nose...

"Queen Lucy!" Kacey said, grinning a bit. Lucy smiled back as her eyes drifted amusedly over to the discombobulated suit of armor. Kacey flushed as she murmured an apology. "Sorry 'bout that..."

"Oh, no! It's quite alright... I've never liked those suits of armor anyway... They frightened me a bit, honestly," Lucy said, hurrying forward to help Kacey up. "Oh, and please- it's just 'Lucy'. May I ask who you are?"

Dani, slightly amused by Lucy's extremely polite manners (you would have thought everybody here was raised by scarily prim and proper nuns armed with dictionaries and spray bottles...), was the one who answered. "Well, I'm Dani and that's Kacey, and we're your new karate sensei's!"

Lucy chuckled. "Is that so?"

"Well, I have a slight problem with hand-eye coordination, as you can probably tell, so I'll have to question your choice a bit..." Kacey piped up. "But actually, we're just a couple of people that were just randomly sucked into Narnia, and Peter and Edmund found us in the woods this morning, and we just thought it would be fun to go to the festival, since everyone seems to be going," she added conversationally as if talking about the weather or her high score in tenpin bowling (which is a very sad 86), for she was a bit tired of repeating the story over and _over_ again.

"Oh... Right... Perhaps I'll have Peter explain the whole story to me..."

"Yeah... That's probably a better idea... See, we're not very good story tellers..." At this, Lucy laughed again.

"Well, shall we get to the festival? I'm making a surprise appearance! I'm not supposed to be here for it actually, but I got back early to celebrate with the rest of Narnia! Susan'll be so pleased, though I do hope Ed won't be too mad that he had to arrange all the flowers while I was gone..."

--------

The party was already in full swing by the time they arrived. An astonishing amount of fancily-dressed individuals were packet into the ballroom, whose every square inch was covered by just about every kind of flower that was available in Narnia. Garlands of daffodils and daisies were wrapped around the columns, and hanging down from the ceiling were strings and strings of roses, carnations, and peonies, showering the people below with petals. There were a hundred little tables, each seating five, formed around a large dance floor, and each of them had perfectly arranged bouquets of flowers as centerpieces. At the very front were the four famous thrones, surrounded by lilies, though none of them were occupied- Peter, Susan, and Edmund must have been somewhere lost in the crowd.

"Oh, goodness... Susan's outdone herself, as always..." Lucy sighed, staring at the ballroom in awe, "Well, it was wonderful meeting you two! I'm sure we'll see each other a lot, since you're staying at the castle, and if you don't take this the wrong way, you're rather difficult to miss!"

"It was great meeting you, too," Kacey said, "And we're sure you won't be hard to miss either... We'll just lookout for a large crowd of people yelling things about 'merchant trading' and 'taxes on parsnips' and other things of that nature."

"Oh, and remember to work on your blocks, young pupil. Your defense is looking a bit spotty!" Dani added.

And with that, Lucy went off to go find her siblings, and Kacey, in turn, went off to find the most inconspicuous corner to go hide in, for Dani had somehow already found a dance partner and disappeared into the crowd. Kacey was very keen to stay away from the dance floor, for reasons that were quite obvious.

She made her way against the wall, behind the crowd that was eagerly watching the people in the dance floor. She headed toward the buffet table- a safe sanctuary, at last! A place where she can stuff her face with food in peace...

As it turned out, the buffet table was a rather good vantage point to watch the ball. She finally spotted Dani dancing near the very middle of the dance floor with a very tall guy with sleek white-blonde hair who was oddly reminiscent of Draco Malfoy... though, this boy looked much nicer than his Harry Potter counterpart... Kacey suppressed a laugh as she saw Dani doing the 'Robot' amidst all the waltzing dancers.

Frowning, she also saw that Rachel apparently made her way downstairs for the ball (though there was no trace of Brian anywhere)... and she had made a pompous-looking friend. Both had this odd expression on their faces- an expression of frightening exhilaration as they search the crowd for someone. Ahhh... So this is what it must be like to watch a couple of hungry wolves chasing after a cute little bunny rabbit. She wondered who they could be looking for, feeling sorry for the poor sucker. Her answer came moments later as she heard a hurried whisper from behind her.

"Mr. Tumnus!" the voice whispered from behind an extremely large pot of assorted flowers, "Mr. Tumnus!"

Kacey had only just realized that her most favorite faun was standing beside her. Mr. Tumnus looked questioningly at the flowers. "King Peter? Is that you?"

"Of course it is!" Peter whispered as if he hid behind potted plants twice each day. "I'm afraid Lady Rosalie thinks that I fancy her quite as much as she does me- and I don't think I can relive that little incident a few months ago... Oh dear... And she's brought reinforcement," Peter added miserably glancing at Rachel.

The faun chuckled, "But Edmund told me that she was quite a keeper?"

"Well then, I do hope he was kidding... But that is beside the point!" said the plant, "She's been chasing me around all night- she won't leave me alone! I suppose this was Edmund's idea of something funny- inviting her?"

"No, actually, sire, it was Lucy's. Did you see? She's come back early to celebrate!"

"Good. I can't exactly thank her for her wonderful surprise if she's all the way in Galma, now can I?"

"Oh, she was just having a little bit of fun..." said Mr. Tumnus.

"I know, but _I'm_ not having very much fun," Peter said, "Can you do me a huge favor and just distract Rosalie for a while? I'd like to spend at least some of this ball not hidden behind a plant..."

"Of course," Tumnus said before turning around and walking off toward where Rachel and Rosalie were interrogating a poor dryad about Peter's whereabouts.

Finally, Peter emerged warily from behind the flower pot. "Thank goodness she's gone... Oh, hello, Kacey."

"Hey," Kacey said, grinning at him, "Nice hiding spot, by the way, though I would have gone for under the dessert section of the buffet table. Rosalie does seem like the kind of girl who would avoid that spot..."

"I'll keep that in mind the next time I need a hiding place," Peter replied, "So, are you enjoying yourself? How come you're not dancing?"

"Well, Susan really does know how to throw parties, but I'm really not much of a dancer..."

"Oh, nonsense! Everyone can dance. Hold on... Here-" Peter said, pulling a very good-looking boy from what seemed like thin air.

"But I-"

Peter cut across her, "Kacey- this is Caleb, a very good friend of mine, and Caleb- this is Kacey."

"Pleasure to meet you, Kacey," he said, giving her a heart-stopping smile and kissing her hand. Kacey could only muster a small squeak and an extremely red face. She had to say, she could never bring herself, no matter how hard she tried, to compare anyone to Edmund (curse her), but since she was currently on a Pevensie-strike, this guy wasn't hard on the eyes either... Sandy hair... Brown eyes... Oh, if only they were that same exact shade of chocolate brown as Edmund's (*mentally slaps herself in the face*)... Curse you, yet again, Edmund Pevensie Fanclub...

"Well, now that you two are acquainted, I must go find Lucy," Peter said happily, figuring he had done some good with his match-making skills, before disappearing into the crowd.

"But I-" Kacey stuttered staring at the place where Peter had disappeared. Oh, this was going to be bad... very bad, indeed... See, she had this annoying habit of being a complete git around cute boys...

"Would you like to dance?" Caleb said, trying to catch her eye.

"Well, you see... I really have no dancing abilities... at all..."

"You can always learn," he said flashing a smile at her, "Come on... I'll teach you." He grabbed her hand and made a bee line for the dance floor.

"Well, fine... It's your toes that are on the line here..." Kacey mumbled behind him, and he merely chuckled. Huh. He seemed to think that she was kidding...

Twenty minutes later, they were sitting at one of the little tables in the sidelines, Caleb's face contorted in pain, but he was politely trying to suppress it for Kacey's sake. Kacey, meanwhile, was mumbling apologies every 5 seconds.

"Oh crap... I am so sorry..."

"It's fine, Kacey, really."

"Are you sure? Your foot looks really swollen... God, I'm sorry..."

"It's fine... I'm just glad you weren't wearing high heels..." Caleb grinned at her and glanced at the hem of her dress, where the tops of her signature purple Converses were peeking out. There would be no way anyone could make her lose those shoes, and she had flat out _refused_ to wear those highly dangerous-looking heels that the maid had shoved into her hands.

"Um, d'you want me to go to the kitchens and get you some ice?" Kacey said.

"I'm fine. I can make it to the kitchen alright... I'd rather not run the risk of you stepping on my foot _again_, if you don't mind..." he gave her one last grin before hobbling off to the kitchens, grimacing with pain. Well, she was rather sorry about his poor feet, but Kacey couldn't help but roll her eyes... Was it programmed into boys' minds to try to be the macho tough guy all the time? Just let her get the ice- it's not a big deal, really...

Kacey stared disdainfully at the dance floor. She had best stay away from there for a while... the root of all evil, that dance floor was... Glancing hopefully at the buffet table, it was to her disappointment to see that it was quite crowded- all that dancing had apparently made people hungry... As she scanned the room for another sanctuary from the imminent threat of dancing, she found herself having a 'eureka!' moment as she happened upon a door that led to a balcony outside. The ballroom was getting rather hot and stuffy anyway...

She made her way to the door in the most inconspicuous manner possible- bumping into every person in the general area and then bursting through the double doors as if it led to her most favorite place- Narnia. Upon looking around at her surroundings, she found that it did. Lovely.

The balcony was rather large, and since it was on the first floor, there were steps on the right-hand side that led to one of the main gardens. A cool spring breeze fluttered through, filling the whole garden with the sounds of rustling leaves. It was just the kind of peaceful night where Kacey would have been sitting on her front porch, reading. Her hands ached slightly with the longing for the smooth pages of a good book to be there... Perhaps she would go look for the library tomorrow...

Meanwhile though, it was a lovely night- why not enjoy it? She leaned forward on the cool marble railings, closing her eyes. She had that fleeting image of Rose and Jack standing on the bow of the Titanic, saying, "I'm flying! I'm flying!" Smiling a bit, she very foolishly did the same action, spreading her arms out. (Yes, I think you can figure out what happens next, readers...)

Losing her balance, Kacey toppled off the balcony and over the railing, landing headfirst into a pile of bushes below.

"Oh, nice job, Kacey," she told herself as she lay on the prickly leaves.

As she made to stoop up, she heard the door open and close up above followed by some cheery whistling. Wondering if it would be utterly ridiculous to poke out of the bushes now that somebody else was there, Kacey heard the door open and close again, with the sounds of voices coming with it this time.

It was to her great surprise that she realized that they were very familiar voices, indeed...

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ooohhh! a cliffie! oh, how i missed those things... don't worry... it's really nothing particularly shocking... or is it?!?! anyways! i did update sooner this time, didn't i? so please do a favor for me and my review penguin, slappy, and REVIEW! please? pretty please? don't make me sic slappy on you!

-justplaincrazy8


	7. A Rather Interesting Conversation

**Disclaimer:** this fic is 'FOR NARNIA! AND FOR ASLAN!'... just don't go thinking that i actually _own_ narnia and aslan...

*is doing the electric slide just because i just flipping feel like it!*

okay, well, first of all, i'd just like to thank all of you people for the all of the reviews, and alerts, and *grins very happily* even favorites! they makes justplaincrazy very happy... very happy indeed! oh and look at the result! an update in 2 days! yay! so, thank you for the support and i do hope it continues...

wow... i have nothing to else say except... edmund chapter! whooopeeee! oh and of course, R&R please!

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Edmund and Lucy watched Kacey mumbling apologies to Caleb, very amused. Perhaps the only thing funnier than the expression on Kacey's face now was her display of what could barely be called 'dancing' earlier that night.

"Oh, poor Caleb..." Lucy said, failing to stifle a giggle.

"Oh, poor Caleb's toes, you mean."

"Yes, his poor toes... Kacey is a rather dreadful dancer, isn't she?"

"Very," Edmund said, grinning.

"But I should say- they are an awfully cute pair, aren't they?" Lucy sighed. She was such a hopeless romantic- like all of the other girls in the world...

"What?" Edmund said suddenly, frowning at her.

Lucy snapped out of her romantic daze. "What? Oh, it's just that I think they would look rather cute together..."

"Right..." Edmund replied frowning at the pair. It was almost definitely his imagination, but something about what Lucy had said gave him this odd twinge... No matter, though! Lucy thought that almost _everyone_ would make a cute couple, even if Phillip the horse decided to propose to a marshwiggle.

"Oh, hold on... Watch this..." Lucy said staring at Kacey and Caleb with determination. "Kacey is going to continue saying sorry... And Caleb will to try to be a 'man' about it, and say that he's completely and totally fine, though he's probably in excruciating pain right about now... Kacey will offer to get him some ice, and he'll refuse, again, because of pride, of course, and he'll try to go get the ice himself... There he goes limping off, and oh! That looked rather painful..."

Edmund watched in slight awe as everything that Lucy had narrated came to reality and grimaced as Caleb faceplanted into a pot of flowers. Kacey, however, did not notice this for she was headed in a completely different direction.

"Lu, I'm not even going to ask how you knew that..." Edmund said.

"All part of the art of being a girl, Edmund..."

"Right. I don't-"

"LUCY! Is that you, darling?" came a squeal of delight from their immediate left. There was a whirl of fabric and hair, nearly sending Edmund toppling over yet another pile of flowers.

"MARGARET!!!" Lucy's equally high-pitched squeal (in truth, it might have been a tad higher...) rung in Edmund's ears as he watched the rather conspicuous reunion of Lucy and her best friend.

Without even a glance backward at Edmund, they both went off, babbling incessantly in a dialect no one else could fully understand. Edmund merely shook his head and chuckled. He had once before tried to understand the behaviors of girls... Only once, and then, he vowed to himself never to do anything so stupidly complex ever again...

As he scanned the crowd for Peter and Susan, wondering where they had gone off to, he spotted a familiar head disappearing through the doors into the balcony outside. Though he had no idea why, he had this tugging feeling, wanting him to go follow. His brain in slight protest, his unresponsive feet shuffled off to the balcony, for no conscious reason at all.

The night outside was cool and calm- rather typical Narnian weather, and as Edmund's eyes searched the balcony, he found that he was in total solitude. There was no sign of anybody else outside, as it was rather livelier and more exciting in the ballroom.

Well, that's odd... He was sure he'd seen Kacey exit out through these precise doors... As he pondered this mysterious plight, the door suddenly opened and closed again, letting out the loud and boisterous voices and music from the ballroom for a fraction of a second.

"Edmund! There you are!" Peter said, sounding slightly on edge, though Edmund wrote this off as a result from the rather amusing cat-and-mouse game Peter was playing with Lady Rosalie.

"Yeah?" Edmund said, a little distracted for he was still wondering where Kacey had disappeared to.

"Oreius has just told me some rather... urgent news..."

"About?"

Peter hesitated, looking around the balcony as if to assure himself that there was no one else present. There wasn't.

"There's been a... disturbance... in the forest."

"What exactly does that entitle, Pete? You're being awfully vague here," Edmund said, somewhat frustrated.

"All right! All right! It seems that a couple of fauns have been attacked in the Shuddering Woods..."

"Are they alright?"

"Yes, yes... They're fine- recovering," Peter said, sounding stressed, "But the trouble is... they don't seem to remember what exactly had done it."

"Well, it'll be some of _her_ old followers, wouldn't it?"

Peter sighed. "Yes, I suppose so, but I thought we'd driven out the last of them months ago..."

"There's bound to be a few that have avoided detection until now, right?" Edmund said logically, though he was not entirely convinced of the answer himself. There was a short silence as Peter pondered this.

"Yes... You're probably right... But I'm still going to look into it... Something about it doesn't seem right..."

"Are you going to tell Susan and Lucy?"

"No... I don't want them to worry too much over something that is, as you said, probably going to surface as a minor issue."

"Right. But you know it's your head on the chopping block if either of the girls find out you've been keeping something from them?"

"Of course. But I'll just tell them that you put me up to it," Peter said jokingly before quickly turning around and exiting, slamming the door shut behind him.

"Do that, and your head will be on more than one chopping block!" Edmund called after him, laughing.

Turning back around, he nearly lost his balance as he had involuntarily jumped back in surprise. A slightly disheveled-looking Kacey had magically materialized out of nowhere and was now making her way up the marble steps to the balcony.

"Bloody hell, Kacey!" Edmund exclaimed, "You really shouldn't sneak up on people like that..."

"Sorry! I'm not very good at sneaking up on people... So, I guess when I'm actually succeeding at it, I really don't notice," she said giving him a quick grin before taking an uncommonly large interest on the swirling wave pattern on the railings.

"It's fine... Forgive me, but what in Aslan's name have you been up to?" Edmund asked, staring at the large collection of leaves in her hair and the thoroughly-dirtied hem of her dress.

Kacey flushed slightly. "Oh... I-uh... I went for a walk around the garden... for some fresh air. And I... I dropped this... um, bracelet that Dani made me... in the bushes."

"Oh. Did you find it?"

"Huh? Oh, no."

"Do you want any help to look for it?"

"Oh, no. It's fine. Dani can make me a new one..." Kacey said with a smirk. "After she chews me out for losing the other one."

"Right," Edmund said, grinning. Then, not fully realizing what he was doing, he said, "Well, you have leaves all over your hair. Here-"

His hand, acting out of its own accord like his feet, reached over to pick the leaves off. But Kacey turned a very deep shade of crimson and swiveled around in a rather inconspicuous manner to stare at a clump of highly uninteresting trees. The action would have looked fairly innocent and completely accidental to any bystander- and Edmund was not entirely sure it had been done deliberately either, though he felt the undeniable urge to hit his hand repeatedly against the wall to punish it for its involuntarily foolish move.

"So... Great ball, huh?" Kacey grinned, changing the subject. She shook her head slightly, loosening the leaves and watched them fall to the ground.

"Yeah. I saw you, um... _dancing_," Edmund snickered, "... before... with Caleb." On those final two words, Edmund couldn't seem to suppress a slight edge in his voice. What the bloody hell was wrong with him tonight?

Fortunately, Kacey was a bit too busy turning into a shade of red that was oh so violently resemblant of the color of a nice ripe tomato. "Oh, God... Please don't remind me," she groaned, shaking her head.

"It wasn't all bad, really..." Edmund said, grinning mischievously, "At least you had good aim. You managed not to step on anyone else's toes but Caleb's!"

"Oh, very funny," Kacey replied, glaring at him, "Well, at least I wasn't wearing heels, right?"

"Of course." Edmund smirked at Kacey's sneakers. "Nice shoes, by the way."

"Hey! You are not allowed to make fun of Glinda and Elphaba!"

"You named them?" Edmund asked, heartily amused.

"Yup. They have two completely different personalities." Edmund noted that Kacey was still trying extremely hard to stare anywhere else but him (at the moment, she was concentrating awfully hard on a lady bug that was crawling across the floor).

"Do you name all of your shoes?"

"Of course not!" Kacey said this rather matter-of-factly. "It would be too hard to keep track of them. I'm a girl-"

"_Clearly_," Edmund interrupted, smirking.

Though she turned brilliantly red, she continued without pause, "-we have _truckloads_ of shoes. Nope! These shoes get names because they're my favorite."

"Right. So, I'm not allowed to make fun of Kacey's shoes- got it," he said, still smirking. It was then that he spotted the odd little trinket dangling from Kacey's neck. "Am I allowed to make fun of your necklace?"

"No you are _not_," Kacey said defensively, fingering the necklace, "It's a lucky charm!"

Edmund laughed. He was beginning to realize that it was vastly entertaining to tease her. "Well, it looks like a tab you would find on top of a soda can, tied to a piece of string, if you ask me."

"So what if it is?" Kacey huffed.

"Well then, that's just a little odd."

Kacey gave him a reproachful glare before staring over the top of his head at the glowing, crescent-shaped Narnian moon.

"I'm just teasing, Kacey," Edmund chuckled with as much charm as he could muster (quite a large amount, he thought, not to sound narcissistic).

"Right," Kacey said stiffly, shamelessly avoiding looking at him, though she was rather pink in the face. "I better go look for Dani now..."

"Be my guest."

And Kacey swiftly turned around and headed for the double doors.

"Good night, Miss Brinkley," Edmund called after her.

She abruptly stopped, turning around to face him. She had this odd look on her face, as if she was trying very hard not to laugh. Then, she told him with a very serious face, "Good night, Mr-" She stopped herself. "Well, I don't know your last name yet, but I _will_ find out." It seemed that she could not contain herself any more, though, for she burst out into laughter shortly after.

Edmund laughed. "It's Pevensie."

"Right," she said with a blatantly fake stony expression on her face.

"Good night, then, Mr. Pevensie," she said pointedly, before turning around and marching into the ballroom with a rather rebellious air about her.

* * *

ta da! *wipes forehead* goodness, that was a tough chapter to write... it was like 90% dialogue! but it was super fun, too! *snickers at her own joke... "_clearly_"* oh and yes, yes, i know what you're going to say... 'if kacey is a supposed narnia addict, why doesn't she know edmund's last name?' well... my answer to that it of course she knows his last name, but she also knows it would sound a bit stalker-ish if she knew his last name already, seeing as the pevensies didn't go by their last names in narnia, but just their titles.

anyways! hmmmm.... don't you just LOVE authors that update in record time? two days! oh! oh! i know what you should do! you should be totally awesome and nice and reward said author, who undoubtedly worked _extremely_ hard, and REVIEW! yes, yes... a very wise thing to do, i should say...

-justplaincrazy8


	8. Here Comes the Uh Oh

**Disclaimer:** somewhere in a deep, dark dungeon in the bowels of the earth... agonized screams and whimpers are heard echoing through the room... peter: "please, please! stop! i'm begging you!!!" a girl with a poorly impersonated british accent is heard saying: "well, are you going to say it?" peter mumbles something incoherent. girl: "what was that, peter?" peter receives a poke in the stomach. peter: "all right! all right! just, please, stop!" girl: "mmmhhhmmmm?" peter sighs heavily and says: "justplaincrazy8 owns... owns... *shudders* ...narnia." someone is heard doing the happy dance and going 'WEEEE!' several times. suddenly, there is a loud bang of a door flying open. a deep voice shouts: "OFCF here! drop everything and renounce your claims to narnia!" girl: "wait... the what?" deep voice: "the obsessive fan control force!" girl: "oh, fudgecakes..."

... i'm sorry for that obnoxiously long disclaimer... its just what happens when i get bored... on with the story then! oh, btw, this happens the day after the ball...

* * *

"You _what_?"

"I left," Kacey said in a very bored voice, perusing through the pages of a book entitled, _War Drobe: The Great City in Spare Oom_. She laughed at the Narnian depiction of cars- large rectangles each on top of two circles.

"_Why_?" Dani glared at her, "The setting was perfect! Alone on a balcony outside, under the night stars! And looking out over a garden! And you say he was being _extremely_ charming, too? Why didn't you just kiss him already?!"

"Of course! Why did I not think of that! A brilliant idea... though there might be that small problem of how I'm on a Pevensie strike..." Kacey replied, not bothering to look up, "Besides, Edmund can't help but be charming. It's really not his fault that I'm an obsessed, hormone-crazed teenage fan-girl."

"Aha! So you _do_ think that he's charming! By the way, Kace, your sarcasm is not appreciated. "

"I never said he wasn't. It's just that from now on, I'll have to resist it... And honestly, by now... Oh, how many years has it been? Six? In all the six years you've been my best friend, I think you would have learned to appreciate my sarcasm."

"Kacey Brinkley, you are about three seconds away from a slap to your face."

"Fine," Kacey replied absentmindedly.

She stood up and walked around the rows and rows of shelves of the Cair Paravel library before stopping at the history section, grinning happily as she ran her fingers across dozens of the leather-bound spines. Ah, finally- a place she was absolutely at home in- a library... She was very glad she had decided to go find it today, even with Dani kicking and screaming behind her the whole way there. The smell of paper, ink, leather, and book paste greeted her like a long lost friend as they had walked in, and much to Dani's objection, they had spent almost all of their morning there.

Picking out a book at random, Kacey walked back to the small alcove next to a large window where Dani was sitting on one of the extremely comfortable armchairs, still sulking.

As Kacey sat down next to her, humming happily, Dani just grumbled, "You're nuts. Absolutely crazy..."

"Good. I like to think of it as this: On a scale of one to crazy, I'm a penguin."

Dani only turned the other cheek, grinning a bit and trying to hide it, but failing gloriously. When she turned back to Kacey, she had her annoyed face on again and tried one last attempt at a losing battle. "I don't understand how it's so wrong to like a boy. I mean, we're teenage girls- it's our calling in life!"

"Yes, but this boy happens to be a king of Narnia. Besides, I don't think we ended up here for no reason- we obviously came here to because we have to do something important. And I'm pretty sure that reason isn't so that I can flirt with Edmund."

"Aw, gosh darn it. I was planning on going up to Peter tomorrow and confessing my undying love for him... I guess that plan is ruined," Dani said, spreading on the sarcasm wondrously thick.

"I'd like to see how that one turns out," Kacey grinned.

"Oh! Oh! Maybe the reason we came here is so that we can feed Rachel to a minotaur!" Dani said, jumping up and down in her seat. "Yeah... All we have to do is tell her that there's a Super Glossy Gloss Lip Gloss Emporium in the forest and she'll come running out... And _then_ you and Ed can live happily ever after!"

"As much as I wish that were true Dani, I don't think so," Kacey laughed.

"Well, since this 'calling' of ours hasn't reared its big ugly head up, why don't you have a little fun in the meantime?"

"Actually... I think it has..." Kacey started.

"Aw... I hate people... Explain?"

"Well, last night, when I fell off the balcony, I kind of heard a conversation between Peter and Edmund."

Dani gave her a devilish grin. "Ooh... Eavesdropping, now are we, Kace? Tut, tut, tut!"

"Yes, yes, I know! I should be dragged away by my ears to the dungeons, where a drunken Filch will be waiting with a cactus... and a croquet mallet!"

"Yes you should! This is an atrocity! You're a felon, now, do-"

"Dani! Listen... I heard them talking about something... in the forest... attacking people..." Kacey started, repeating the conversation from last night to Dani as best as she could. When she was finished, Dani didn't seem frightened or even the least bit worried. In fact, she was _grinning_ at her.

"Ooh... Sounds ominous!" Dani said.

"Yes. And-"

"And as two scrawny teenage girls," Dani interrupted her, "you expect that we're supposed to go find out what it is and drive it away, therefore saving all of Narnia? Am I correct?" Dani raised a questioning eyebrow at Kacey, who gave a noncommittal shrug. "Hmm... let's try to figure out our chances of surviving, shall we?"

"But it fits doesn't it? I don't think there were that many evil creatures going around attacking people during the Golden Age... hence the name. And it would just so happen that we arrived just when one happened to pop up? I really don't think so."

"Well, you know what I think? I think that somebody doesn't want to admit that they are totally, completely, and inexplicably in love with Edmund and is turning to paranoia so that they can duck out of it. I'm sure your scary monster thing isn't a really big deal."

"God, you sound just like Edmund..." Dani smirked at the mention of his name, and Kacey threw a large dictionary at her head. "Am I the only one who feels like something sounds extremely weird and crazy about this whole situation?"

"Of course not! I'm _glad_ that you're finally admitting that it is totally insane of you not to like Edmund!" Dani grinned at her.

"Will you stop it with the Edmund thing?!?"

"Fine, fine... I'm just saying..."

"Never gonna happen. Besides, I have another boy to attend to... I'm pretty sure that nurse will let us in by now..." Kacey stood up, smiling to herself that Dani had miraculously shut her trap, and left the library in search for the hospital wing.

As it turned out, soon after Rachel and Brian separated from Kacey and Dani back in the forest, the two got separated from each other as well. According to Rachel, she saw 'some freaky thingymajig in the bushes' so she decided that 'there was liek no wayyy she was going to be creepy monster food' so she ran away, leaving Brian behind. The guard who retrieved her from the forest later reported that the 'freaky thingymajig' in the bushes turned out to be nothing more than a couple of squirrels. They found Brian soon after they had found Rachel, though he was slightly dazed and disoriented due to stumbling and hitting his head on a tree, presumably caused by Rachel smacking him in the face in her panic. It seemed that he had acquired a minor concussion during this incident and had spent the last day and a half in the hospital wing.

"Hey Kace?" Dani asked absentmindedly as they walked up a flight of stairs.

"Hmm?"

"You know how we have a codename for Brian?" When Kacey raised an inquisitive eyebrow, Dani continued, "I think we should have a codename for Edmund, too. I mean, what if we're talking about him, and suddenly he walks into the room? Awkward questions, riiiight?"

"I guess..."

"Sooo, since Brian's is Chewbacca, I thought we could go along with the Star Wars theme and make Ed's Yoda!"

Kacey sighed, though she did smirk a bit at the thought of Edmund being a midget with big furry ears. "I suppose, but only if we make your Draco Malfoy look-alike lover boy Darth Vader."

"Fine. He can be in the Dark Side- it's totally hot, _and_ they have cookies! And his name is _Robynn_ for your information!" Dani huffed. Kacey grinned a little- bad boy or not, _Robynn_ seemed like an awfully girly name, especially with those two 'n's added in.

Brian greeted them with a weak smile and a small wave as they entered the ward. "Hey Kacey, Dani."

There were a dozen or so beds in the room, and he lay in one of the only occupied ones. The only other patient was a young man, though he was sleeping, lying sideways towards the windows, and they could not see his face. Rachel sat on the next bed over, the skirt of her dress draped over the edge, with a magnificently worried expression on her face. The fact that she kept on inspecting her nails every few moments, though, detracted from the effect.

"Hey Brian. Hey Rachel," Kacey said, walking over with Dani. Rachel half-raised an arm as a welcome and went back to squinting at her manicure.

Dani skipped happily (she was quite glad to be out of the library) to the bed on the other side of Brian's and sat next to Kacey. "So, didn't lose too many brain cells, didya, Brian?" she asked.

"I hope not..." Brian grinned, scratching the back of his head, though it was bandaged quite thoroughly. "My head still aches a bit though."

"Oh, my poor Brian-y-boo!" Rachel exclaimed, jumping off her bed at once to give Brian an astonishingly awkward hug. Kacey raised her eyebrows at Dani and mouthed the words, 'Brian-y-poo?', making Dani snicker loudly. At once, Rachel shot them a death glare and continued to fawn over Brian, asking if "her sweetie pie needed a kiss to make the boo-boo feel better". While this only made Kacey and Dani snicker even more, Brian was turning redder and redder, either from the sheer embarrassment of the situation or the fact that Rachel's constricting hugs were cutting off circulation. Kacey could not blame him- she didn't think that she had seen any person endure such pain and torture as having Rachel Young hug you.

After only 20 seconds of this, Kacey and Dani had decided that they could not stand any much more of this and started coughing and sputtering in a manner that was not at all inconspicuous. Finally, Rachel released Brian, giving him a cutesy grin to which he could only grimace at.

"So, what happened anyway?" Kacey asked a bit too loudly.

"Well, when we got separated from you guys, it took a while for us to realize that we were lost," Brian said, normal color returning to his face, "So we walked along for a bit, trying to figure out where you guys had gone. And after half-an-hour, we were starting to panic and get jumpy..." He gave a sidelong glace to Rachel. "And then Rachel screamed and started yelling at me that she saw something moving in the bushes, and I was going to look who was there, but Rachel screamed again, hit me in the face, and ran off... So then I guess I hit my head on a tree because I blacked out, and when I came to, a couple of talking cougars were standing over me with Rachel, and then they brought us back here."

"Oooh... Ok then. We met the kings who run this place in the woods, and they gave us a ride back," Dani said simply.

The rest of their conversation consisted of pointless babble about Narnia and wondering about things back home, and if they were missing them or anything back at school. Kacey explained to all of them the rules of time in Narnia- that however much time you spent in Narnia, no time at all passed in the real world, and when you were in the real world, the time that passed in Narnia was varied... Rachel was a bit put off knowing that no one was going to send a search party after her.

Soon, they had grown tired of talking, and Rachel was once again inspecting her nails while Kacey and Dani played Crazy Eights with a deck of cards Dani miraculously produced, and the nurse (who happened to be a very large brown hare) came bouncing in with Brian's lunch on a tray. She was very careful not to make the soup spill out of the bowl as she handed it to Brian, and then hopped off to wake up the sleeping guy. The aroma of hot soup filled the room, and it was then that Kacey realized how hungry she was- they hadn't even eaten breakfast yet!

"Hey, Dani," Kacey said jumping off the bed, "I'm really hungry... You wanna go down to the kitchens for a late lunch?"

"Yuppers! I'm kinda thirsty, too... And I have this craving for some iced tea..." Dani jumped off the bed and gathered up the playing cards.

"Ice..." Brian suddenly said from behind her. "Ice!"

"Huh?"

"Kacey! I just remembered! You know a lot about Narnia, right?" Brian asked her with a glazed expression on his face.

"Yeah..."

Brian squinted at her. "Do you know anything about a lady who likes ice?"

"What?"

"Ice..." he repeated, "I just remembered her now... When I blacked out! I opened my eyes, and I saw this really beautiful lady standing next to me... She was glaring at everything, and she had a wand with this crystal on top... She was asking where all the ice went and glaring at me as if it was _my_ fault!"

Kacey's eyes widened. Hmm... That sounds an awful lot like... "What did she look like?"

"Umm... It's kind of hard to remember... But she had a big white ball gown, and she had a crown on her head that looked like a bunch of icicles, and she had this glowing wand with a crystal on top... She was really pale and didn't look like the nicest person either, because she called me 'insolent' before walking away and after that, I blacked out again. The next time I woke up, the cougars were there, and she was gone."

Beside her, Dani emitted a small squeak- she had more extensive knowledge of Narnia than Rachel and Brian, and seemed to understand what this could mean, like Kacey. Meanwhile, all the color had drained from Kacey's face. No... This couldn't _possibly_ be the reason they were in Narnia... Who in their right mind would think that a few teenagers would actually stand a chance against the biggest, baddest, ice-loving, meanie in Narnian history? The idea would be almost comical if Kacey didn't think that there was the slightest chance it might be true. Besides... It was common knowledge that Aslan had gotten rid of her _ages_ ago. Nah... Brian couldn't have seen her in the woods- he _did_ hit his head on a tree! But something about his tone of voice said that he was absolutely sure of himself, and that really freaked Kacey out.

"You're sure you saw this lady?" Dani said, slightly shaky.

"Yeah... Why would I make it up?" Brian said slowly, as if he were talking to an incredibly slow person. Kacey remembered with a sinking feeling that Brian hated fantasy things, and was completely clueless about anything related to Narnia... He couldn't have made this up if he tried.

"But-but, you could have imagined her! You hit your head hard enough to get a concussion for crying out loud!" Kacey said desperately.

"No... I'm pretty sure she was real because I remember she poked my arm with something really cold, and when I woke up again with the cougars standing over me, that arm was really cold for some reason," Brian said, "What's your problem anyway?"

"My problem is that we're all going to die as frozen popsicles!!!"

"Now, Kace... No need to panic... First thing we need to do is tell somebody..." Dani said soothingly, "Besides, I say dying as frozen popsicles is a very tasty way to meet our doom..."

Kacey forced herself to smile (it turned out more as a grimace, really) and sighed, "Dani... Can you just go find Peter or something? Like now?"

"Aye, aye, Captain!" She gave Kacey one last reassuring grin before taking off down the hallway, yelling, "Emergency here! Really need to find King Peter! Important information about our impending doom!"

Yes, Peter would disprove this absolute nonsense... hopefully. Kacey just needed to be optimistic about it- she was really too much of a pessimist anyway! She just needed to think about sugar pops, and gummi bears, and rainbows, and unicorns, and the Teletubbies, and it would all be okay... aside from the fact that it would all be flipping frozen in flipping ice!

While Kacey stood there hyperventilating, she felt a tap on her shoulder. "Hey, Kacey? Are you... okay?" To Kacey's complete and utter surprise, Rachel stood there with an honestly worried expression on her face. Kacey momentarily forgot about the crisis due to finding out that Rachel, the Evil One, was capable of feeling worried... about somebody else! Well, she supposed that Rachel figured out that if Kacey went down, they would all go down with her, but the gesture was appreciated!

"Yeah... I'm fine... I just need to sit down a sec..." With that, she took a seat next to the previously sleeping guy, closed her eyes, and took several deep breaths, and Rachel shrugged her shoulders and stared at her nails again, her momentary lapse of compassion over.

"Kacey?" a familiar voice said.

"Huh?"

"Hey! Fancy meeting you here!" Opening her eyes, Kacey saw with much annoyance that the sleeping boy had in fact been Caleb. Fantastic. Yes, in the middle of a ginormous crisis, boys were really the last thing she needed. Oh, how you mock her cruel fate.

"Hey," Kacey sighed, rubbing her temples. "How are you?" She glanced at his bandaged foot with a grimace at remembering last night's events, and stared with curiosity at the large bump on his forehead.

"Well, seeing as I'm in here, not so-"

Caleb was suddenly cut off by the loud bang of the doors flying open, revealing a very disheveled-looking Peter Pevensie. He was flushed with running up here, and judging by the look on his face, Dani had told him everything and probably added more pizazz and drama to the story as well. Kacey noticed with an inward groan that he did not look at all as if he was going to disprove Brian's claim, but rather looked a little green as if he were going to throw up.

And, as he moved into the room, Kacey fought the urge to hit her head against the wall repeatedly as she saw another anxious-looking figure enter right behind Peter. Edmund (Yoda?)- of course. This was really not her day, was it?

She really should have expected this, though. Of course Edmund would want to know what the heck is going on if the crazy lady who tricked and imprisoned him a few years prior, _and_ who they thought was _dead_ might be walking around the forest attacking random people. But still- Brian, Caleb, _and_ Ed? What were they playing now? The Get-Every-Guy-Kacey-Has-Ever-Been-In-Contact-With-In-The-Same-Room-With-Her-Just-To-Piss-Her-Off Game? Who was going to come waltzing in next? Marcus, the chicken pox boy?

"Ugh... Oh, come_ on_," she grumbled, as Peter stared at her, his eyes demanding an explanation of things.

"Well..." Kacey started, "We have some bad news for you..."

* * *

holy crap that was looooong... longest chapter yet, i think, though its not my favorite. but hey! there you go! and now, the chaos and action unfolds... sorry for the delay in updating, once again. as you may have noticed, i am a bit of a harry potter fan... okay, fine, i'm OBSESSED... and the half-blood prince came out this week, resulting in a hilariously obsessive case of harry potter fever for me, and i haven't even watched the movie yet! but, no worries my narnian readers! i'm still staying true to you guys too! it's just that i was a teeny bit distracted by all those flipping movie trailers...

anyways, it would be absolutely lovely if you guys reviewed and it would be absolutely not if you didn't... SO REVIEW! NOW!!!

-justplaincrazy8


	9. You Are An Epic Failure

**Disclaimer: **i do not own narnia. i do not own 'lovely bunch of coconuts'. if i did, it would be the national anthem of narnia, and the pevensies would be signing about rows and rows of coconuts as we speak. and, as you probably know, they are not doing any such action. therefore, you shall expel such rubbish from your minds. :D

heeyyy! so i've calmed down from my harry potter high enough so that i could write another chapter! all fans of the lovely bunch of coconuts bit from the old version... it's your lucky day! of course i'd fit it in there someplace!

oh, and please, please, please, please review! it would be FRICKING AWESOME if this story hit 100 reviews by the time i finish this, so please? please? pretty please? i'm up for any comments and suggestions! just as long as you won't be a meanie about it!

* * *

"Dananananananana... DA NA!" Kacey hummed absentmindedly to the tune of none other than the 'Batman' theme song as she skipped down the marble corridors. As it is probably obvious, this was not very common behavior in Narnia, and she received some very peculiar glances as she passed by several perplexed servants. Kacey, however, was much too preoccupied with her thoughts to be nothing except oblivious to their reactions.

See, she was in very deep thought about the events that had occurred in the past several days. Ever since Brian's little announcement in the hospital wing, her supposedly 'relaxing' and 'peaceful' trip to Narnia had turned very exciting indeed...

***flashback***

Kacey told Peter and Edmund the whole story, with an air of optimistic hopefulness that they would say that it was all complete and utter rubbish. Unfortunately, Peter did not grant her that wish. Instead, looking extremely pale, he just sent Dani out for Lucy and Susan, and for several tense minutes, they just stood around awkwardly, not really knowing what to say. Finally, the doors banged open once more, with Susan demanding to know what's wrong. With that, Kacey, Dani, and Rachel were unceremoniously shoved out into the hallway so that they could interrogate poor Brian.

"Okay. This is not cool! I wanna know what they're saying!" Dani said pouting at the door, but Kacey was already way ahead of her with her ear plastered to the key hole, putting a finger to her lips to shut Dani up. Dani grinned mischievously and followed suit, crouching down on all fours and listening through the crack at the bottom on the door, ignoring Rachel's gasps of horror about ruining a perfectly good dress.

"...not jump to conclusions. We have to make sure this doesn't turn out to be someone's idea of a joke," Susan's voice said.

"I think Susan's right. How do we know that she all of a sudden came back to life? The idea of it is a bit... questionable, really..." Lucy said slowly.

"But I did see her!" Brian protested.

"Well, I want proof," said Edmund.

"Alright! We'll send someone into the forest- someone who knows their way around," Peter suggested, "And they can investigate and see-"

Peter's voice was cut off as the door suddenly jerked open, sending Kacey, who was leaning on the door, toppling over Dani and into the room.

Above her, stood a smirking Edmund who raised an eyebrow, to which she only glowered at. "Eavesdropping?"

"What?" Dani snapped, standing up, "We wanted to know what was going on!"

Peter sighed. "Look... We appreciate the concern, really, but we can handle this... We _are_ the kings and queens, after all. And it's really not any of your business-"

"None of our business?" Kacey said suddenly. "Of course this is our business. It's nothing but our business!" Everyone in the room stared at her blankly, and she sighed exasperatedly. "I've been telling Dani- Do you honestly think that it is a coincidence that we showed up here when weird things start happening? How often do you get visitors from other worlds? And how often do you get evil witches who are supposed to be dead, come back to life?"

Peter looked at her with an odd expression on his face. "Not very often, but-"

"But, nothing! From the things I've read, whenever humans appear in Narnia, there's always a reason why," she said, "And besides, Brian was the one who saw her, wasn't he?"

And after nearly half an hour of arguing (consisting mostly of extremely complicated eyebrow movements), Kacey finally convinced them that she, Dani, Rachel, and Brian also had something to do with this predicament and needed to be involved with it, too. And unfortunately, she knew being involved in this was going to be very tiring work...

***end flashback***

It had been nearly a week since the hospital wing, nearly a week since they had sent a group of guards and locals of the Shuddering Woods into the forest to investigate. They had not heard anything from them since. As expected, this resulted in Peter's slow and painful descent into the increasing stages of mental breakdown. He was not the only one- everyone was gradually turning into small quivering puddles of nervousness. At least, those who knew of this new development, for they had all decided to keep this on the quieter side, so as not to send all of Narnia into uproar. So as some of the only people who knew of this disturbance, it was up to Kacey and the others to hold the all of the burden that was usually spread out across the kingdom, amongst themselves. And it was very stressful indeed.

And it was because of this particular reason that Kacey was sneaking off away from Dani (who had become extremely obsessed with trying to help out), as they had 'volunteered' to library duty, a task that neither really enjoyed much, but was usually the most they could do to help. It was a job that entitled searching the library for many fruitless hours straining their eyes looking for any reference to a prophecy of some sort pertaining to this event, though they had lost hope long ago that there would be any information at all on this.

As much as Kacey loved the library, she was starting to think that she had inhaled too many ink fumes, and found herself drawn to a walk outside for some fresh air. The castle was nearly empty, for by now, all of the party guests had dispersed and were well on their way back to their respective homes. And when Kacey escaped through a large door into the main courtyard, she found it considerably emptier and quieter than when she had first arrived.

Looking up, she realized that she was almost directly under her and Dani's bedroom, recognizing with a smile the red and gold scarf that the two had found at the bottom of a drawer, which greatly resembled a Hogwarts Gryffindor scarf, looped around one of the window handles. Dani had said that in case _her_ life-long dream came true, and Harry Potter suddenly appeared in Narnia, he would know where to find "someone who understood" by the scarf on the window.

Suddenly there was a movement in the window and out popped Dani's head, squinting her eyes as if she were looking for something... or someone by the name of Kacey. Kacey let out a little squeak and quickly ducked out of sight through a small creaky metal gate that led to a garden path nearby. After peeking back around the corner, Kacey confirmed that Dani had not spotted her and breathed a sigh of relief. She never thought she'd ever say this, but she was really starting to loathe being stuck in that library.

Kacey was at the start of a charming little stone pathway, bordered on each side by a random array of flowers, bushes, trees, and plants of all kinds, winding its way a short distance through the garden. And following the path, she found that it ended at a small grassy clearing that led straight to the edge of an incredibly steep cliff. The sound of waves suddenly replaced the chirping of birds, and it seemed like Kacey had hit a wall of salty sea air. The sea was apparently very nearby but she didn't dare get close enough to the cliff to check.

Instead, she opted for lying down on the plush grass, not caring if she got grass stains all over her newly borrowed dress. This was the sort of place that was perfect for just lying around and being totally useless for a couple of hours. She felt like doing something that she hadn't been able to slow down and do for a while- cloud watching.

For some reason, clouds have always fascinated Kacey. Whether it was because of the cute squishyness of the small puffy ones, or because of the wonder of how they stayed up there, even the massive dark ones, floating along with the breeze, she always just liked them and decided long ago that she was going to get a job studying them as a meteorologist.

Hmm... That one up there was shaped like a giant spider, and the one next to it looked rather like a medieval flail... Kacey smacked herself on the head. Oh great. Now she was turning perfectly cute and harmless clouds into very menacing images. Curse you, the evil workings of her dark and devious mind... Better make them less ominous.

Well, Kacey supposed that the giant spider looked more like a flower... And the flail could also be a... uh, bowling ball... ON A STICK! Sure! That worked. At least it was better than a medieval flail! Although, a bowling ball on a stick also sounded like a bit of a threatening weapon. She imagined it would hurt quite a lot getting hit in the head with that...

As Kacey lay there and pondered what other less hazardous things the cloud could look like, she realized that it was awfully lonely and quiet out here... She looked around and saw that the coast was clear and grinned. She was by herself, wasn't she? And this place needed a bit of... culture...

She cleared her throat a few times to warm up the old pipes and belted out in a rather... interesting... singing voice, "Oh, I've got a lov-e-ly bunch of coconuts! There they are standing in a row! Big ones! Small ones! Ones as big as your head! Give 'em a twist a flick of the wrist, that's what the showman said..."

Yes, readers. She _is_ singing about coconuts. Believe it or not, this song was a favorite of hers and Dani's (yes, just go with it!), and she fully intended to bring some life and culture into Narnia with it.

At around her 4th run-through of the song (which only consists of those two lines above), a mass blocked out the sun and hovered above her, interrupting her wonderful singing. She cocked her head and wondered if she had heard anything about an eclipse happening today. Did eclipses even happen in Narnia?

"Hello, Kacey," the eclipse said in a highly amused voice.

Hey! It was a _talking_ eclipse! This fact, surprisingly, did not alarm Kacey. Though she had to admit that it was a bit odd to be talking to a celestial happening, you would kind of expect that kind of thing to happen in a world where pretty much everything talked. She was surprised that the grass didn't start yelling at her to get the heck off when she lay down.

Kacey sat up and said her own greeting in response. "Hello, eclipse!"

"Eclipse?" said the mass, which apparently was not an eclipse.

"What else would you call out a mass that blocks out the sun?" she told it.

"My head," said the mass. When it moved out of the way of the sun, Kacey saw that it was Edmund, giving her a 'have-you-been-out-in-the-sun-for-too-long? look'.

"Oh, right! Edmund. It's you."

"Who else would I be?"

"Harry Potter..." Kacey said, grinning as she remembered the red and gold scarf in the window. She then added as an afterthought, "Are you stalking me?"

Edmund turned slightly red at this. "I am most certainly _not_! I just saw you wandering off, and I wanted to make sure you didn't fall off that cliff over there. You do seem to be a bit accident prone, after all." He smirked as Kacey glared at him dangerously. "Besides, I'll have you know this was _my_ special secret place to think first."

"Um..." Kacey said, offering a slight smile. "Sharing is caring?"

"Right." And for a few minutes, they sat in awkward silence staring at anywhere else but each other. And then, Edmund said quite suddenly, "Who's Harry Potter?"

"Oh... Just this really cool guy... does magic, you know..."

"Oh..." Edmund said, sounding slightly disappointed, "Really cool guy, huh?"

Kacey laughed, realizing how that must have sounded like. "Oh! Oh! You think... You see, he's not really-" She abruptly stopped, a devious idea forming in her head. Surely it would get him off her back... But did she dare have the nerve to say it?

"Jealous?" she said. Ooh... apparently, she _did_ have the guts to say it. Dani must have rubbed off on her...

And boy, if you think you've seen red from embarrassment before, well prepare for that mental image to be blown away by the sputtering, fire-engine red face of Edmund Pevensie at that moment. For such a pale person, it was rather impressive... though slightly alarming.

"Oh, so you are?" Kacey said, using every ounce of her moral fiber not to burst out laughing. This was much more of an improvement from the last time at the ball- it was endlessly more amusing when the tables were turned. She liked to think of this as... payback for last time.

"No!" Edmund said in a defensive tone, still very red in the face.

"Relax Edmund," Kacey laughed. "He's just a fictional character after all, so you shouldn't be too jealous of his magical powers..."

"Oh... right..." Edmund said awkwardly, sounding a bit relieved. "Soo... What was that song you were singing before?"

Well! Kacey hadn't expected this conversation to turn around that fast and smack her right in the face! Well, the least she could do was answer with some dignity! "Oh... that... Well, you see... that was just... ummm... something... that... well... it's a song."

"Oh, thank you for that very valuable information. I would have never guessed it was a song," Edmund said sarcastically.

Kacey wondered if she would be thrown in the dungeons for punching a Narnian king in the face. Nahh... She was just too darn lovable! ...right?

She told him in the most dignified manner, "Well, its a very interesting piece called 'Lovely Bunch of Coconuts'. It intrigues me and Dani very much, and if you would _stop laughing_ you would get the great privilege of learning how to sing it."

"Oh, well then, in that case, teach on!" Edmund said, grinning (normal color came back to his face extremely quickly, actually...).

Edmund was taught the correct tune of the song and how to sing 'lov-e-ly' in the proper manner, however, since the song did only consist of about 30 words, the singing lesson was soon over, and yet another awkward silence was bound to strike up.

After staring at the clouds for a moment (the one shaped like a medieval flail), Kacey said, "Sooo... Any news yet?"

"Huh?" Edmund said, who seemed to have been lost in his thoughts, "Oh... No, still nothing yet. But Peter's already cracked. He's planning to charge into the forest like a madman any second now..."

"Really?"

"Yeah... He's already lined up the guard to go with us, and he tried to get me to saddle up Phillip this morning. He said it was 'just in case'. He's ripping out his hairs over this, and honestly, if we don't let him go now, he's likely to go bald soon."

Kacey grinned despite herself. Just the image of Peter going around with a cue-ball head under his crown made her giggle. "So when are you guys leaving?"

"Sometime this week. And looking at Peter's state, no more than a couple of days from now."

"Good. Then I'll have you off my back..." Kacey mumbled under her breath.

Unfortunately for her, Edmund seemed to have a ridiculously well-developed sense of hearing. "Do you really despise my company that much?" he laughed.

Lovely. Now the boy thought that she hated him. All the more easy for her to avoid him, she guessed, but she wouldn't really prefer him to think of her as a grouchy, anti-social weirdo. "Not really... It's just ahhh... complicated?" she answered lamely.

Ughhh... And here comes another awkward silence! They're really becoming a sort of mascot for this story, aren't they? It stretched two, three, four, five minutes until Edmund finally said something quite unexpected.

"You know, up until now, I haven't really considered the possibility that this would all end up being true... That she_ is_ really back... Call it denial if you will, but I don't think I've been able to really let it sink in..." Edmund told her in a very serious voice.

"Oh, um... really?" Kacey said awkwardly, not really knowing what to tell him. Oh, why do their conversations had so many bloody mood swings?! I swear, it's like being in a room full of spoiled, whiny teenage girls.

"Yeah... And I feel like I should be more frightened than I am now because everybody else is scared. And I should be the one that's the most anxious about this, right?" When Kacey said nothing but a few sputtering noises, Edmund looked at her. "Kacey, I know you know the whole story about the White Witch. The expression on your face back at the hospital wing was admittedly comical, but you looked completely horrified and a bit green, unlike your two other friends. Besides, you kept on looking at me like you knew I should have the most reaction to the news."

Okay... Well, in actuality, that wasn't the _particular_ reason that she kept looking at him during that discussion, but she had to admit, Edmund was pretty darn observant.

"I-" Kacey stopped. Relating to people and comforting them was _not_ her cup of tea. It really wasn't!

Edmund didn't seem to notice her complete lack of words as he barreled straight on. "But it has to sink in sometime, is what I suppose. And when that happens, I really don't know if I'll be able to handle it..."

Okay, woah, woah, woah! Stop right there, buddy! Why was he telling her this? Shouldn't he be talking to his siblings about this, instead of a random girl that he barely knows? Or did he think that she was a particularly good person to open up to? Because once again, I will repeat, she was NOT good at this. Kacey decided at this moment that she will never ever be a psychiatrist or anything close to it for that matter. Not now, not in the future, not if even if they offered her the rights to Narnia (and that was what she asked Santa for every Christmas!).

"Edmund, look... I..." Kacey said, scrambling for something meaningful to say to him.

"Um... Hey, look! Don't you think that cloud looks like a bowling ball on a stick?" *smacks her head repeatedly against a wall made of sandpaper* _That_ was the best she could come up with? God, she was pathetic. And an idiot.

Edmund just gave her an odd look, and it struck Kacey how incredibly stupid and insensitive she was being. So, she did the best idea that came to her head at the time. She hightailed it out of there.

"Oh, ummm... Wow, has it been that long already? Well, I better get back before Dani flips out on me! Nice talking to you, Edmund!" she gave him a grimace and a small wave before turning around and leaving as fast as she could without running.

"Right... Bye..." she heard Edmund call after her.

Kacey sighed as she thought about _what,_ in the name of all that is good and chocolate in the world, _just happened_? Oh, sweet Aslan... perhaps she _had_ been out in the sun a bit too long...

* * *

wow... i didn't expect that chapter to turn out that way, but i'm sorta glad it did... a bit sad really, and i shall be reprimanding kacey later for her dreadful manners, but what can i say? this story had a mind of it's own! yes, i know that i put you through a whirlwind of emotional stuff there, because that's what i put myself through, but i amped up the hilarity this chapter, and i'm past the point i was in the older version of the story, so i expect plenty of reviews! capiche? and i put fluff and coconuts in there!!! so please review, for peter pevensie's sake! anyone who does gets an virtual dessert of their own choosing!

-justplaincrazy8


	10. Pie Makes Everything Better

**Disclaimer: **me- "do you know why i don't own you, faun?" mr. tumnus- "because i believe in a _free_ narnia!" me- "right on, mr. tummy, right on."

okay, okay, okay. i LURVE you guys! i appreciate all the reviews and the favorites and the alerts verrry much! i really did want to update like the next day... unfortunately i got the despicable, blank horror of... writer's block! DUN DUN DUN! yes, yes... i know! such a tragic fate, but hey! i'm back! and i'm watching llw while writing this!

oh and i'm really hyper and excited because it's my birthday this week! yup! i finally get to change that measly 13 on my profile to an impressive 14! so, you know what would be the best birthday present ever? REVIEWS! soooo, please make me very happy and drop in your gift-review by clicking that oh, so familiar green button at the bottom!

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Kacey watched warily as Dani paced back and forth and back and forth _and_ back and forth across the wooden floor, making ominous _thump, thump, thump_ noises as she went. She knew what was coming, and she knew that she could do nothing about it... except hope for a set of magical earplugs to materialize on her lap.

Finally, Dani looked up and said in a surprisingly quiet voice, "You are Draco Malfoy."

"Huh?" Kacey said, utterly bewildered. She had been expecting somewhere along the lines of 'You, Kacey Brinkley, are the biggest prat I've ever had the displeasure of knowing' or perhaps 'You would have deserved it if you had gotten hit on the head with a bowling ball on a stick' or even just 'IDIOT!' Being referred to as a Harry Potter character however, was most certainly not a reaction she would have predicted after telling Dani about her most interesting day today.

"You heard me. You are Draco Malfoy," Dani repeated.

Kacey grinned a bit. "So, I'm a sulky blonde ferret boy with magical powers?"

"No- you don't have magical powers," Dani said unsmilingly, which shut Kacey right up. And then, with a heavy sigh, Dani said, "Ugh! Kacey, you know what I mean! I love you, you're my best friend in the whole entire world, but sometimes, I just hate you."

"Woah... Bi-polar much?"

"Kacey! I'm serious! You can just be so... so- STOP SMILING!"

Kacey, who had been fighting an internal battle against laughing out loud ever since the ferret comment, immediately stopped grinning at the look on Dani's face.

"Honestly, do you know how frustrating you are sometimes? Just take this seriously for once! I don't think you get how big of a prat you've been to Edmund."

"I do that know that I am a prat... But at least now that he's off my back, I won't have to worry-"

"Don't you dare suggest that Mary-Sue thing again! Or else... or else... I'll... throw this pillow at you!" Dani said, throwing Kacey her most deadly look, though the fact that she was brandishing a fluffy blue pillow detracted from it.

"Wow. I don't stand a chance now..." Kacey drawled sarcastically. For this, she received a square hit on the nose. "Hey!"

"You deserved that! And you also deserve getting hit on the head with this candle holder, but I don't feel like being charged for assault and battery," Dani chided her, and then she added in a quieter tone, "You've been awfully inconsiderate to him, Kace. I thought you liked him."

Kacey looked very confused then. "W-well... What if I don't like him anymore?" she said, uncertainty ringing in her voice.

"Well, even if you don't like him anymore," Dani said (though she _highly_ doubted it), "I still think you should say sorry to him."

"Well, what am I supposed to say?" Kacey said, grinning a bit, "Look, Edmund... I'm sorry that I'm a freak who doesn't handle serious situations very well, but I was really just practicing for being an anti-social nun when I grow up."

Dani raised her eyebrows. "Try again."

"Fine! Fine! You know what I'll say to him? 'Edmund, I'm sorry that I am such an inconsiderate jerk'." Dani nodded enthusiastically, but Kacey didn't seem to notice as she ranted on.

"'But really, we should practice making our conversations just a bit less bipolar, because when you're laughing one minute and sulking the next, it really does make the situation a bit awkward, you know? And I should tell you that I'm not really the person to talk to about those things because I'm not a trained shrink, nor am I a bald, middle aged man called Dr. Phil. When people bring up serious things, I tend to either freak out or point out oddly-shaped cloud formations... And why were you telling me all that crap when I thought you went to your siblings for advice, instead of a slightly insane, teenage girl you found wandering in the forest and have known for only a few days? And why does it seem like you're stalking me? Or am I stalking you? Because I really stopped being able to tell the difference since I've been doing the latter for a few years now, and I've kinda grown used to it. But I must be doing it subconsciously because I've been really trying to stay away from you, in case I turned out to be a psycho Mary-Sue rampaging through Narnia, destroying it with a mix of pink hearts, sparkling strawberry-scented magic powder, and air kisses you can catch in your hand that make you feel all warm and gooey all over. And-'"

"KACEY!" She hadn't noticed that Dani had been yelling her name several times, trying to get her attention. Dani, shaking slightly from laughter, said, "I asked to give him an apology, not a raving rant that told him your entire life story."

Kacey was slightly red and out of breath, as anyone would be after reciting such an impressive rant as the one above. "At least I got that out of my system," she grinned, "Imagine Ed's face if I actually told him all of that."

"I don't think he would understand a word of it, seeing how fast you were talking... But I think that a simple, 'I'm sorry for being such an inconsiderate jerk. If it makes you feel any better, I am insanely in love with you' would suffice," Dani said half jokingly, half hopefully.

"Fine. I'll tell him that in the morning," Kacey said, Dani looking at her delightedly. "Minus the 'insanely in love with you' part," she added, and Dani's face fell.

"Right. Well, at least you're saying sorry..."

"And that's all I'm going to do."

"I still think you should give him a chance... Then we can just avoid little incidents like that..." Dani said, sounding tired.

"Of course. And let me guess? He _lurves_ me back, and we all live happily ever after with our children, Edmund and Kacey Jr. and our magic penguin, Jello."

"Yup... The guy clearly likes you, Kacey," Dani yawned sleepily.

"Dani? I think you are in need of some much deserved sleep, seeing as you're agreeing to me adopting a magical penguin... and believing that 'Mrs. Kacey Pevensie' is actually a possibility. Go to bed before your logic becomes any more delusional."

"Yeah... yeah..." Dani said, sluggishly making her way out of Kacey's room. "Think whatever you want, but the fact remains... He LURVES you." Kacey heard her stifle one last yawn before she shut the door behind her.

And as Kacey climbed into her own bed that night, she silently cursed herself because sleep-induced or not, what Dani had said made her wonder why Edmund _did_ open up to her, out of all people, about the White Witch.

-----

The next morning brought an uneasy dread to the pit of Kacey's stomach. It had just occurred to her that an apology meant another extremely awkward conversation, and no one enjoys having those very much, especially not two days in a row.

And of course, with nothing else occupying her brain besides figuring out how to put several layers of convoluted dresses on, it was only natural that she would come up with several complicated schemes on how to get out of having to say the apology.

For example, Kacey figured that the plan where she faked amnesia was a particularly good one. At least, it was endlessly better than the plan involving a crumpet, a rubber ducky, and the utterance of the phrase 'Avada Kadavra'. However, it was quite sad to think that the scheme of hiding behind a potted plant was probably the one that was most likely to work (not saying that it would work, of course).

As you might have figured out, Kacey was not much of a schemer (Dani was really more of the evil mastermind type), and therefore, she decided that there was no way that she could avoid another disastrous confrontation with Edmund today. It was only the right thing to do, and besides, if she resisted, Dani would just drag her by her ankles downstairs, making sure that Kacey would hit every suit of armor that they passed on the way down.

Kacey could only hope that she wouldn't start ranting like a mental person when she made her apology like yesterday night. Or worse- repeat Dani's suggested apology word for word to him, including the 'insanely in love with you' part.

Repeating her carefully-selected (and non-romantic) speech over and over in her head, she set off, hoping that by doing it early, Dani wouldn't be up yet to poke the living daylights out of her, asking what she was going to tell him.

So she looked and looked... She checked in the ballroom and in the courtyard, looked in the kitchen and dining room, poked her head in the occasional broom closet or two, searched the library, and looked in the garden. Ed didn't seem to be in any of his usual hangouts. And after nearly two hours of wandering around the castle, Kacey decided that he must either be really really good at hide-and-seek, or have disappeared in a puff of bright orange smoke. Even with Cair Paravel's massive size, finding someone as conspicuous as one of the kings really shouldn't be that hard.

So, disheartened with the realization that Edmund must really be avoiding her, Kacey went off in search of the one thing that can lift one's spirits at a time like this. Pie, of course.

Luckily, Queen Lucy seemed to have an odd obsession with pie, and the kitchens had an alarmingly large variety of the dessert at hand. Kacey was immediately given a stool to sit on at the counter, and a plate with a slice of apple pie and an enormous pile of fluffy cream on top appeared in front of her before the words could be fully articulated.

"Umm... Thank you?" Kacey told the Badger who handed her a fork.

The Badger smiled before turning back to attend to a bubbling pot of hot soup. "It looked like you needed it, dear."

"Right," Kacey said, before shoving a massive forkful of cream into her mouth. Was her depression really that obvious?

She looked up at the Badger, who smiled again and said, "Yes. It was painfully obvious," before the words left Kacey's mouth. Man, she was good at this!

Kacey raised her eyebrows. "Rea-"

She was interrupted by the door as it squeaked open, with Lucy walking into the room with a sheepish smile on her face. "Good morning, everyone!" she said brightly, "Oh, hullo there Kacey!"

"Hey Lucy..." Kacey mumbled, her mouth still stuffed with pie. During her stay, she had gotten quite used to calling the kings and queens just by their names, as they had said they preferred it much more that way.

Lucy grinned at her. "Is that apple pie?" she said, and then looking at the Badger (whom Kacey would later find out was named Mayella), she asked, "Is there more?"

"Now, now, Your Highness," Mayella chuckled, "What would your sister say if she found out you were sneaking dessert before lunch?"

"Oh, I'm hoping she won't," Lucy said, taking a seat next to Kacey. "So, Kacey, how have you been? I haven't seen you around the castle for a few days now."

"Been better," she sighed.

"Oh... Well, I'm sorry to hear that. Nobody has been at their best this week... Why, just yesterday I was telling Susan that we were all going to go mad soon with all this stress!"

"If we haven't gone insane already." It then occurred to Kacey that, if anyone, Lucy would know the whereabouts of her brother. "Hey, Lucy? You wouldn't happen to know where Edmund is, would you?"

At this, Lucy gave her a triumphant and mischievous smirk, as if she'd won a bet or something and muttered something that sounded like, "I knew it!" under her breath, causing Kacey to eye her suspiciously.

"Huh?" Kacey said, feeling like she was missing something.

"Oh, nothing!" Lucy said, turning her grin into a sympathetic smile. "Oh, Peter finally broke down this morning and said he couldn't possibly wait any longer. He's not really the most patient of people, and it really was to be expected soon enough, so he went off into the forest, dragging poor Ed and Oreius with him. I heard his clamoring around the castle before sunrise!"

"Oh," Kacey said, not really knowing what to say.

"Well, I really must be off, Kacey. I need to be upstairs to greet the governor of Archenland, and I have a necklace I need to talk to Susan about..." Lucy said mischievously, giving her a quick smile, "Nice talking to you!"

And with that, the door squeaked shut once again, leaving Kacey sitting there, staring at her plate. She was slightly relieved that Ed hadn't been avoiding her after all, but she still felt an odd mix of worry and disappointment overshadowing that...

And despite all of the trouble and reluctance with the apology this morning, the fact that she didn't have to say sorry after all somehow didn't make her any feel better.

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oh, i'm so sorry that that is a ridiculously short chapter, but that's all i could put in this chapter without seeming to skip around too much! the action will pick up in the next few chapters!

oh yes, and lucy IS devious enough to make a bet about kacey and ed with susan :)

and again, i'm sorry for the delay- writer's block and i really had to start working on stupid summer work for school :P my summer's been oddly busy... and i'm sorry if this was a sort of crappy chapter, but please please review anyway! remember: reviews are the best birthday present to a fanfiction author! and, if you do, you get a piece of cake along with my many thanks!

-justplaincrazy8


	11. She's Not A Freak Of Nature!

**Disclaimer: **i'm pretty sure c.s. lewis wouldn't have yelled at a computer, a dictionary, and a pet rock like i did just now... and i don't think mr. lewis is a teenage girl who takes her anger out spasmodically on random objects around her because the english language is being a meanie to her right now... finally, i don't believe he referred to himself in third person. convinced now? :D

well hello there! first off, i am so incredibly sorry (my a/ns always seem to start off that way, don't they?) for the oober long wait. high school for me just started and i've been so busy trying to not be confused by it. but i'm back! however, due to school starting, i'm afraid my updates will be slow, so i'm sorry in advance for that too! but i love you guys for all the reviews and if you could please bear with me here, i'll be your best friend in the world!!! :)

oh, and yes, i _was_ reading dawn treader (i was re-reading all of the narnia books just for the heck of it!) while writing this, so you might find one or two references to it :) happy reading!

and remember to r&r!

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The next few days went on rather miserably at Cair Paravel. Susan and Lucy could hardly keep still with all the anxiousness about Peter and Edmund's well-being, and Dani dived into her work at the library, still trying to help as much as she could and keeping herself preoccupied at the same time. Brian, fresh from recovering from his concussion, was once again in the hospital wing, with a very nasty fever (something about Narnia made him seem very prone to bodily harm, like Kacey back in Connecticut...), with Rachel, as always, annoying by his side at all times.

And while all of this was going on, Kacey had turned into a useless muppet (yes, just like Kermit the Frog). Since the two king's departure, she moped about the castle, and she was regularly found downstairs in the kitchen, with a slice of pecan or apple and a belief that pie really did make everything better. Alas, her faith in pie was strong, but it was gradually failing, because with every heaping spoonful of delicious, fluffy whipped cream, she became more and more depressed. Yes, though many had thought they would never see this day, pie had turned against her.

So, as pie had failed her, Kacey found herself once again at library duty with Dani. With all of the resentment that Dani had expressed earlier towards books, she had grown quite fond of them with all of her time there. Because really, if you have to be around something all the time, you really grow to like them or at least learn to tolerate them- for example, like if an annoying cousin happened to be dragged along on a sea-fairing adventure with you (yes, I'm talking to you, Scrubb!), or if your parents adored polka music and played it all day in the house... or if a wondrously bossy and irritating girl named Rachel happened to accompany you on a journey to a magical country.

The two girls sat in the back corner of the library for hours at a time, surrounded by a forest of shelves. Those hours were usually silent (which was very alarming, seeing as they _were_ Dani and Kacey, after all) which were only punctuated by the occasional exclamation of "Oh! What about-?" or "Hey! Look at this!" that marked the times where either girl seemed to have found something relevant. Unfortunately, they were almost always followed by a disappointed sigh and a "Never mind..."

And Dani, upon realizing that Kacey felt quite horrible enough about her behavior towards Edmund, had stopped pestering her, but the worried glances that Dani kept shooting her every 5 seconds were getting rather annoying. Did she expect Kacey to burst into tears? Or maybe a monologue of depressing words declaring her emo-ness due to the kings' departure? She was a bit sad and quite guilty, but she wasn't _that_ mentally unstable (yet).

Besides, it was making things quite awkward. At that very moment, Kacey was trying to focus on a large volume entitled _A Complete History of Narnian Monarchs _(she would have loved it, too- it filled in all the gaps between King Frank and The White Witch), but she was getting very distracted as Dani was peeking surreptitiously at her over the top of her own book. And whenever Kacey would glance at her, Dani would quickly duck behind the book, pretending that she had been reading her book the whole time. Heh... likely story.

"Excuse me, Nancy Drew, but what exactly are you trying to sneak a peek at? I don't secretly go and kick puppies around when you're looking away, you know," Kacey told her.

Dani pulled a classic 'are-you-talking-to-little-old-me?' face and said in her most innocent voice, "What are you talking about, Kace?"

"I'm talking about how you won't stop staring at me, you stalker."

Dani turned slightly red. "I most certainly am not a stalker! Well, not a stalker to you anyway (she had just remembered the Orlando Bloom incident a couple years back)... I was just making sure that you were alright and hadn't started inflicting bodily harm on yourself."

Kacey mumbled something that sounded like, "I don't really _try_... It happens of its own accord..."

"Huh?"

"Oh, nothing!" Kacey said brightly, "Look, Dani. I'm fine! No need to check every five seconds to see if I started crying yet. Trust me, I'm alright!" This was when Kacey made her fateful mistake- she just _had_ to add, "In fact, I'm sort of happy they went. We need to get this White Witch thing solved, don't we?"

Dani, who was grinning up until this point, suddenly gave her a very dark look. "You, Kacey Alice Brinkley, are such a big fat liar!"

"What?!"

"Get this into your little blonde head- YOU. ARE. NOT. HAPPY. THEY. LEFT. YOU ARE VERY, EXTREMELY, TOTALLY, COMPLETELY, TERRIBLY, INCREDIBLY, AND UNDENIABLY DEPRESSED!!!"

Kacey blinked at her silently for a few moments. Dani had just about used every version of 'very' to describe Kacey's apparent emo-like state of mind, and Kacey, being the kind of person that she is, was trying to think of any other adverbs that would befit those words...

Meanwhile, Dani was poking Kacey's shoulder, wondering why she hadn't said anything and why she had that hard-thinking scrunched-up kind of expression on her face.

"Kace...?" Dani asked slowly, giving her a hard poke on the arm.

"Excessively!" Kacey finally said with a triumphant "HA!" to follow. Dani looked completely bewildered.

"Oh, I mean... Well, how do you know?" a very red Kacey said defensively.

Dani looked at Kacey questioningly for a second before cocking her eyebrow at her and saying, "Hmm... I couldn't really tell for a while, actually... Because moping around the castle, eating pie all day just screams 'I am so chipper today!'"

Kacey pressed her lips together and sighed. "Fine, I'm not _overjoyed_ that they-"

"And by 'they' you mean 'he'."

"No, I care as much about the others who went as I do about Ed."

"I never said who the 'he' was," Dani said in a sing-song voice, and Kacey shot her a glare. "Continue," she squeaked.

Kacey stared at her for a moment and then continued. "As I was saying, I'm not overjoyed that they went, and I do want them to get back soon-" At this Dani raised her eyebrows even higher- "_because_ you made me feel all guilty, and now I need to say sorry to Edmund to get it off my flipping back."

Dani nodded her head, seemingly appeased by this explanation, and ducked back behind her book. Not 10 seconds later, though, she heard her mumble, "Or so she says."

And then, Kacey was off again.

-------------

Meanwhile, deep in the Shuddering Woods (it's very vague, I know), High King Peter's camp was having a rather unexciting time. There hadn't been any sign of the Witch ever since they had arrived a few days ago, and the small troop of soldiers was quickly slipping into boredom with all the sitting, and waiting, and watching. Even dear old Peter, who had insisted that they stay for a few more days, was getting extremely tired of it.

It was lazy afternoon in the forest when the scouting party had reported back, once again bearing no news of sighting the White Witch. Anyway, barely anyone bothered to be hopeful (well, maybe hopeful isn't the quite the right word to use when searching for the Witch, but they were quite desperate for _something_ to happen!) that the news would be exciting, startling, or otherwise anything else but dull.

Peter and Edmund, with nothing else to do, had fancied a sparring session which was quickly turning into a full-blown battle with half of the camp watching (this was the most interesting thing that had happened in days). Those Pevensie boys were just so darn competitive! And had Susan or Lucy been there, they would have both gone into one of those insane (but rather amusing) fits where all you could do was sputter incoherently and turn very bright red from anger. To tell you the truth, they would have had a very good reason to do so.

You see, as both of the boys had wicked sword-wielding skills, their sparring sessions were... well, _wicked_. However, if I was to describe it in detail, it would take at least a chapter to explain it all, so we shall skip to the part where I start worrying about-

"Oh! Sorry, Pete!"

Oh my goodness! Edmund had hacked Peter's head off, and now his very confused body was running around looking for its kingly head! ...Well, maybe not, but he did give him quite a nasty cut on his arm (why Peter hadn't had his chain mail shirt on during this whole time, I don't know; it just shows how boredom can wreck a perfectly good sense of judgment). And that was where the sparring session ended, Peter getting whisked away to get his arm taken care of, with Edmund following behind him, mumbling apologies the whole way.

"Ed, for the last time, it's fine!" Peter sighed exasperatedly, patting his newly bandaged cut.

"You're sure?"

"Yes," Peter said giving him a reassuring nod, "But you were being a good deal harder on me today than usual. You know I can only keep up for so long!"

"Oh, right... Sorry about that... I wasn't really paying attention, you see..."

"Come to think of it, you've been acting oddly since we set up camp... What's been up with you, Ed?"

"It's nothing, really..."

"Oh... I see what's going on..." Peter said, sounding like he had just solved the greatest mystery in the world. "It'd be her, would it? You're dreadfully anxious about it, I expect?"

"Yeah... I guess I am... I really don't know what to think at this point actually..."

"Don't worry. I suppose it's perfectly normal to be nervous. I'm just as nervous as you about it."

"You... are...?" Edmund said slowly, thoroughly confused.

"Well, that's putting it a bit lightly. She terrifies me quite a great deal."

"She's not all that bad, you know. She's just a bit... different."

"A bit different, Ed? I would think that you out of all people would say that she's an absolutely terrifying freak of nature."

Edmund glared at him defensively. "She is _not_ a freak of- wait, Peter, who are you talking about?"

"The Witch, of course. Who else would I be talking about?" Peter said, giving him a weird look.

"Oh, nobody, just nobody. Because that's exactly who I was talking about, too," Edmund said, turning very red. He felt extremely foolish about the fact that he had just been defending the White Witch, when he, after all, had the most to hate about her... all because he had been talking about somebody rather different (the name of whom you could all probably guess). Curse girls.

"Right," Peter continued, looking at Edmund suspiciously, "Well, you needn't worry anymore... I think it's about time we went back to Cair. We've been searching for days, and there's clearly no witch in these parts. If she really is back, then she'd have gone on somewhere else, I expect."

"Oh, well then, I'm glad of it. I am starting to miss everyone terribly, and the soldiers are getting restless."

"In that case, I'll go get the messenger to deliver the news to the girls," Peter said, walking out of the tent, and Edmund was left staring at the ground, in deep thought. It was the kind of thought that was so deep that you could have deep thoughts about the initial deep thought. Yes, I do hope you get the impression that this thought was deep. And what was this train of thought about, you might wonder? Well, I'm afraid to say that even after all of those utterances of the phrase 'deep thought', this writer doesn't quite know. But, I will say that Edmund was heard muttering something about "Damn coconuts..." before turning promptly around and following Peter out of the tent.

"Hey, Pete? Can I ask you something?" Edmund said stepping through the flaps of the tent.

"Hold on, Ed..." Peter replied, as he was walking back and forth, dictating a short letter to the girls. "...everyone is fine and nothing seems to be out here in the woods, so we will all be coming back shortly. We will see you soon, Peter." The little dwarf scribbled down the last few words, rolled up the parchment, and handed it to Peter who looked it over carefully. Giving it an approving nod, he then passed it to a waiting gryphon whom Edmund believed was called Aphina.

"Please bring this straight to the queens at Cair Paravel. There's no use in having them worry any longer than they've had to already," Peter told her.

"Of course, sire." The gryphon nodded before taking off in a rush of wind toward the ocean in the east.

"Now, Ed, what was it you wanted to tell me?"

Now, Edmund had been contemplating whether or not he ought to tell Peter who he really had been talking about back in the tent. And he had convinced himself that Peter could only help him, so there was nothing to fear! He, out of all people would know, and wouldn't it be kind of brotherly bonding to talk about girls? Edmund shuddered at this thought. Okay... so maybe no brotherly bonding, but Peter would definitely be the best person to talk to.

"Ed?" Peter asked him, "What were you saying?"

Okay... So he was going to do this... He was going to tell big bro what was up... so, here it goes...

"Oh, well, I just... just wanted to say sorry... again," Edmund blurted out.

EPIC. FAIL. He chickened out! Hmm... Well, it looks like Kacey isn't the only one whose mouth has a problem with being cooperative with their brain.

Peter gave him a wary look. "For the last time, it's fine! Now come on, we need to tell everybody we can go home now."

"Right," Edmund mumbled as Peter slung an arm over his shoulder and walked him back to camp.

Had the boys been turned around the other way, they would have seen an alarming sight. In the distance, the slight figure of a gryphon suddenly dropped out of the sky and plummeted to the ground with an almost inaudible thump.

------------

Kacey was giving Dani the silent treatment. She had not given her the silent treatment since the 5th grade when Dani broke her kaleidoscope from the zoo, but this was mostly because Kacey and Dani were not particularly good at being silent.

But Kacey felt that she needed to take drastic measures because the violent approach to things didn't really work- Dani seemed to _enjoy_ being hit on the head with a book. She was sad to say though, that even if this method was rather effective in receiving an apology, it was getting very annoying.

Presently, Dani was poking her arm once again and was in the middle of saying, "Come _on_, Kacey," for about the tenth time in 5 minutes. "I was just kidding... sort of..."

Kacey was inspecting a row of shelves with books all about the native inhabitants of Narnia. She did not look up.

"Come on, come on, come on, come on..." Dani said, now poking the back of Kacey's head.

Even with her head being repeatedly pushed forward into _The Life and Letters of Silenus_, Kacey still did not look up. And for those who are wondering, getting a close up picture of an extremely drunk man with a potbelly repeatedly is not a very pleasant experience.

"Hey Kacey! I know you still have that Edmund Plushie Doll under your bed that you like to hug and kiss and worship to-"

"Okay, okay! Fine! You're forgiven! Just shut up already!" Kacey said, bright red, "And for your information, I got rid of that thing ages ago..."

"Of course you did, buddy," Dani said, grinning and patting Kacey on the shoulder, "Of course you did..."

Before Kacey could say her witty retort though, Dani started pointing excitedly out of the window like she'd seen Harry Potter himself (actually, the appearance of said character would elicit a much more entertaining reaction such as an extremely loud and obnoxious series of high-pitched fan-girlish screams, or a fainting spell, or even a mix of both).

"What?" Kacey said, turning around.

Outside in the courtyard, the figure of a gryphon was swooping down, carrying a scroll that bore a bright red seal with a lion- unmistakably Peter's.

Dani and Kacey both looked at each other. This could only mean one thing: there was finally news from camp. Both girls ran simultaneously to window, tripping over their carefully organized books in the process.

Lucy and Susan could now be seen hurrying out of the main castle door and across the courtyard with anxious and excited looks on their faces, Susan looking slightly relieved as she took the scroll from the gryphon, slowly unrolled it, and started reading it.

And then, Kacey watched with despair as Susan's expression of relief quickly turned into a look of absolute horror and fright.

Kacey's heart dropped. This was not going to be good news.

* * *

DONE!!! aren't you guys proud of me? i basically wrote this whole chapter in the 13-hour car ride home from chicago (which by the way is an awesome city!). oh and yes, the cliffie is back! muahahahahahahahaha... but anyways, i'm very very sorry again for the delay, and i will try to stop procrastinating for the next chapter! i would love to see feedback just so i know that you guys haven't forgotten about this story, and again, very very sorry! free peace cookies for everyone!!!

-justplaincrazy8

p.s. you have the anti-procrastinating powers of the beatles' music to thank for the safe (if delayed) arrival of this chapter!


	12. The Absence Of Treacle Tart

**Disclaimer: **if i were c.s. lewis, i would not have flipped out and grinned insanely when the priest mentioned aravis and shasta and bree and aslan in his homily at church the other day... well, there might be the slight chance that c.s. lewis would have done that, but he definitely would not be on ranting about it in a fangirlish manner, now would he?

hey people of the narnia fandom! first of all, happy thanksgiving to all of my fellow american-types! i do hope that you all are enjoying your turkeys and mashed potatoes and stuffing! second of all, i am so dreadfully sorry about the two month wait for this chapter! i know... i am such a horrible procrastinator! but, the good news is, i'm on a 6 day break from school until monday, so i will most definitely have at least another chapter up by then!

and don't worry, i've already taken the liberty of throwing a pie at myself. there was a mixer malfunction while we were making pumpkin pie, and well, let's just say it took me forever to wash the pie filling out of my hair.

anyways, enjoy! and please r&r! i would be most happy if you do!

* * *

King Edmund the Just was in a slight crisis... Okay, well, maybe a major crisis, but I think he was a bit too horrified to set up a system of situations to rank just how big a crisis was at the present moment.

And surely no one would have ever thought it would come to this? Who would have predicted that he would find himself in such a painfully frightful situation? He certainly hadn't.

Because really, everyone in camp ought to have enough sense to know- never, _ever_, eat the last piece of treacle tart, lest face King Edmund's terrifying wrath. Now, I can practically see those eyebrows sprouting wings and flying off dramatically into the distance, but you must understand one thing: the Pevensie siblings have a frantic infatuation with dessert.

You've already been introduced to Lucy's near-adoration of pie, but High King Peter really does have a soft spot for homemade chocolate chip cookies. And the Gentle Queen could turn out to be non-too gentle when you set a bowl of her favorite bread pudding on the table.

Edmund, meanwhile, had the most notorious sweet tooth of all. He had always been a fervent supporter of anything with more than a 2 cups of sugar in it, and while a certain candy called Turkish Delight used to be the center of his sugar obsession, Edmund now grows queasy when said candy is mentioned (for reasons obvious to any well-versed Narniac). Nowadays, Edmund rather enjoys treacle tart, a specialty of the cooks in the kitchens of Cair Paravel.

And it was because of this that the kings' and queens' royal subjects had learned _never _to deprive Edmund, and his siblings for that matter, of their sugar fix, especially when on long and rather uncomfortable stays deep in the forest, where a piece of dessert can be the only thing between blissful cheeriness and complete insanity.

So _why_, Edmund asked himself, was there a startling lack of treacle goodness in the rations tent? Who was bold (or foolish) enough to take the last piece?

...And then, realization dawned on the young king.

Peter. He was bold and most certainly foolish enough to take it!

Yes, Peter the Magnificent, High King of Narnia, Lord of Cair Paravel, Emperor of the Lone Islands (did I miss another random title there?), and so-called noble and honorable man was undoubtedly the treacle tart thief!

Bugger.

And as Edmund pondered what violent things he ought to do to his brother dear, said brother exited from the nearest tent with a happily content look on his face. Humph! He certainly looks like he enjoyed that treacle tart.

"Hullo, Ed!" Peter said cheerily, giving Edmund a brilliant smile.

Edmund, in turn, gave Peter his most vicious Don't-"Hullo-Ed"-Me-You-Treacherous-Treacle-Tart-Eater glare.

"Edmund?" Peter questioned, raising his eyebrow.

"Peter," Edmund said slowly in a completely serious tone (which, in fact, would be quite hard for most anyone else, given the topic of this conversation), "You ate the treacle tart, didn't you?"

And to Edmund's complete frustration, Peter burst out in a fit of boisterous (yes, _boisterous_- King Lune was starting to rub off on him...) laughter.

"Treacle tart?" Peter said incredulously.

"So... you _didn't_ eat it then?" Edmund sighed.

Peter grinned at him. "Of course not, Ed. You already said you wanted it last night, didn't you?"

"Yes, but that doesn't seem to have stopped _someone_ from eating it!"

Peter chuckled at his brother's rashness, though he was not utterly surprised. The boy took his treacle tart _very_ seriously.

"Oh, lighten up, will you?" Peter said, patting Edmund on the back. "Tomorrow morning, the at latest, we leave for Cair Paravel, and by dinner time, you'll be eating all the treacle tart you can stuff into your mouth."

Edmund was still scowling. He had just thought of the honey sweetness of the treacle filling, and his mouth felt disappointingly empty without it.

"Come on, Edmund! Just think, warm beds, clean clothes, full stomachs, and you'll get to see Kacey again!"

"Yeah.. I g- wait... WHAT?!" Edmund said, looking at Peter suddenly. Surely he hadn't....

"I said 'warm beds, clean'-"

"No, no, that last part!"

"I said you'll get to see Susan and Lucy again..." Peter repeated, looking at Edmund oddly. "What's up with you, Ed?"

"Nothing!" Edmund retorted, turning dangerously red. Oh, sweet Aslan.

He. Was. Losing. It.

Must be this forest! Yes... That was it! They've been out in the forest for much too long, and it was starting to muddle his brain- making him hear things that he shouldn't be! Hah, wonderful. He was going mental and he would have to be shipped off to one of those institutions, where they kept all of the madness cases... Hmm... They probably wouldn't run out of treacle tart there...

"Edmund? Are you alright?" Peter said, snapping Edmund out of his mental tirade.

"What?" Edmund said, looking at Peter dazedly. And before he realized what was coming out of his mouth, he asked him, "Hey, Peter? You don't suppose they serve treacle tart in those mental institutions, do you?"

Peter, of course, gave him the expected response- an utterly bewildered look and the comment, "Edmund, I think we've been outside for a bit too long... Are you coming down with something? Thank Aslan we're going back to Cair tomorrow."

Peter reached out and felt Edmund's head for signs of a fever with a worried expression on his face. Great. His brother thought he was a loony.

"I'm not sick, and I am most certainly _not_ going crazy!" Edmund sighed, though he couldn't really blame Peter. After all, he wasn't the one hearing things and wondering about the quality of the food in mental institutions. "I just want some bloody treacle tart!" he exclaimed, exasperated.

Peter looked alarmed at his brother's sudden outburst, but only said, "Right... Well, you'd best be getting some rest. We'll be leaving very early in the morning."

And Edmund would have certainly followed that order, too, since he was convinced himself that his brain was having some sort of dysfunction, but at that very moment, General Oreuis had stuck his head out of the tent that Peter had come from and asked the High King if he would be finishing his treacle tart soon. It seemed that some of the soldiers had been eyeing it hungrily.

Edmund looked at his brother incredulously and then shook his head slowly.

"Peter Pevensie," he said in his most menacing voice (usually reserved for when they were securing treaties with particularly uncooperative countries), "You little liar!"

At that time, some sensible thought struck the eldest Pevensie in the head, and he took off, running away through camp, laughing, "Sorry, Ed!" over his shoulder.

And Edmund took off after him, readily determined that he could beat his older brother in a foot race, yelling, "Peter, get your sorry arse back here this moment!"

As for General Oreuis, he stood there with an amused expression on his face, watching the two young monarchs race through camp. He would never understand the Sons of Adams' odd behavior and liked to think that he never would have to. Nevertheless, they were rather entertaining, so he shook his head and chuckled before sneakily retreating back to the tent, while the two were occupied. Treacle tart was a favorite dessert of his...

-------------

Meanwhile, back in Cair Paravel, I am sad to say the mood wasn't quite as light.

Presently, Kacey and Dani were running through the hallways, knocking into suits of armor and such, trying to find a way into the courtyard. As much as Kacey loved every square millimeter of that castle, she was really starting to hate it.

The pair had tried at least two dozen doors already, running into broom closets, bathrooms, guest rooms, and they had even given a few Lone Islanders a scare when they stumbled into their meeting about changing their trading policies with Narnia. Great. Now they were lost, and they were responsible for Narnia's possible economic downfall.

And the sad part was that there were at least 15 different ways to get into the courtyard, and they hadn't managed to find a single one. You must remember that these girls were not expert navigators. Shall I remind you of the incident back in the forest where they had to ask trees for directions? Or shall I tell you all of the time when the two of them decided to participate in a scavenger hunt in summer camp? Let's just say it took them several hours, a hike through a random strawberry farm, and a few desperate calls for help before they finally found their way back into camp... with only two items on the list.

The two girls eventually did find a way into the courtyard though- squeezing through a partially open window and giving Lucy the most terrible fright when they dropped in right in front of her.

"Oh, goodness!" Lucy said, nearly dropping the piece of paper she held in her hand.

"Oh, goodness?" Dani said with an amused expression on her face, "Hmm... I think that I need to help you... expand your vocabulary a bit, Lucy..." She gave the younger girl a wicked grin.

However, that grin soon slipped off and was replaced with a scowl when Kacey elbowed her on the side. "You will do no such thing! Dani, you are _not_ corrupting yet another innocent mind!"

"Jesus Christ, Kace, I was only-" she was interrupted by another swift elbow to the stomach. "What the hell was that-"

"Lucy, are you alright?" Kacey said, giving Dani another elbowing for good measure (it seemed that she did rather enjoy doing that...)

Dani, hoping that her poor spleen hadn't ruptured or sustained major damage, looked up to notice for the first time that Lucy seemed to be on the verge of tears. Uh oh.

"Umm... Lucy? You know I was just kidding right? I'm not gonna like, force to read aloud some particularly useful expletives, and then make you copy them down 10 times each...? Though, admittedly, they do come in handy at times..."

Lucy gave them a really long, really sad look- the kind that made you want to hug a whole box full of puppies just to make yourself feel better. Then, she shook her head sadly and sniffed, staring at the ground. *Snap* Oh, what was that? The sound of Kacey and Dani's hearts breaking? Oh, oopsies. That's not good.

Man, Lucy was good at this! Makes you wonder why they don't just leave her out in the field, looking all sad and depressed, whenever Narnia was in threat of a battle. She could cry her way into victory! Narnia's new secret weapon? I think so.

"Uh... Lucy?" Kacey said slowly. Her intuition (which was named Captain Obvious) was telling her that this was not going to be very good news.

Lucy held out a slightly crumpled-up roll of parchment silently, and both Kacey and Dani looked at it for a second, wondering if a zombie monster would pop out and eat them the second that they took it. Finally, Dani nudged Kacey to take it, and both had a silent argument, involving a lot of eyebrow movement, nodding, and stare-downs, before Kacey finally took it with a glare towards Dani and braced herself for a zombie attack.

When one didn't come, Kacey breathed a sigh of relief and mentally slapped herself once she realized that she had been expecting a zombie attack... _in Narnia..._

Hmm, that was odd... It being only a piece of parchment, and the weather being rather warm today, the paper was startlingly cool to the touch.

_Pshh... Silly Kacey's conscience. This paper is _very _warm, thank you very much! You're imagining things again..._

_Oh no! You're right! I've finally broken through to reality!_

_Pshh... Nooo..._

_Yes._

_No!_

_Yes!_

_NO!_

"Hey, Kace? Are you gonna open that puppy up so we can read it or what?" Dani said, waving a hand in front of Kacey's face whilst she was having her little spiel in her head.

"Ooh... riight..." Kacey said, unrolling the parchment paper through numb fingers (_HAH... told you so!)._

In some really fancy writing, it said:

_"Peter, by the gift of Aslan, by election, by prescription, and by conquest, High King of Narnia, Lord of Cair Paravel, and Emperor of the Lone Islands, Knight of the Most Noble Order of the Lion (at this, both Kacey and Dani, who was reading over her shoulder, were thinking something along the lines of "Holy shiz, that's a long title... I bet he says it just to make himself feel all warm and fuzzy inside."), to his sisters, Lucy and Susan, Queens of Narnia, lodged at the castle Cair Paravel._

_Hello, girls! Since Ed and I had figured that you would be pacing around the castle, worrying your heads off about us, we just wanted to let you know that's we're doing fine, though we haven't seen anything at all out here, except for a family of squirrels, and I can hardly believe they're a threat to Narnia's security..."_

And it went on to tell about some random things at camp they did to fight the boredom (Kacey rather liked the story about Peter and Edmund's sparring session for some _odd_ reason), and then repeat numerous times that they were absolutely okay and that there was nothing to worry about, which was, of course, probably needed since Susan could be a bit of a worrywart at times. It was a regular letter, just like any other.

Kacey and Dani looked at Lucy in confusion, not understanding what could have made her so upset. I mean, Peter _did_ sound a tad full of himself when he wrote out his full title in the greeting, but you know... kings will be kings, and Kacey could hardly believe it was cry-worthy.

"Lucy, what exactly-" Kacey was cut off when Lucy reached out and touched the letter. Kacey nearly dropped the paper in alarm and stumbled backwards into Dani.

The second that Lucy's hand made contact with it, the parchment became very much colder. The edges grew icy with frost and frozen designs wound their way through the paper. Dani could feel the chill emanating from it, standing a few feet away and looked with amazement at Kacey's fingers, wondering how she could hold it without getting frostbite from mere contact with it. Kacey, while not losing any of her appendages, was still experiencing a horrid, prickly cold feeling throughout her body and was having trouble staying on her feet.

Uh oh.

And then, that's when the creepy letters started appearing on the paper (at this point, Dani was mentally freaking out because she was convinced that it was Tom Riddle's diary from Harry Potter). An icy scrawl materialized and covered all of Peter's reassuring words.

_"Queens of Narnia, Susan and Lucy-_

_Hello, my dears! It has been much too long, and I do hope that you are doing well! Sadly, I cannot say the same for your dear brothers, for, as of the present moment, they're a bit... preoccupied. But, fret not- I will make sure to take good care of them, just like the last the last time we met, with Edmund. And please save yourselves from any extra exertion of energy in trying to rescue them... My dears, not even Aslan can help your brothers this time... The very best to you, little queens..._

_Long live the true Queen!"_

Horror-struck, Dani looked at Kacey for a reaction, but Kacey just stared... and stared... and stared some more at the paper.

Finally, in an empty voice, she said, "What? No XOXO, hugs and kisses, at the end?"

"Kacey..?"

"Lucy, where's Susan?" Kacey said, ignoring Dani.

"She ran inside right after she read it. I don't know where she went," was the reply.

Dani piped up, "Well, maybe she... woah..."

The unfinished sentence and the "woah" was, in fact, due to the subject of the topic above striding into the courtyard, dressed in her full chain-mail armor and with a distressed look on her face.

"Susan! What are you doing?" Lucy said in an alarmed voice.

Susan said nothing, striding toward them in a fashion so dramatic that it almost deserved to be in slow-motion. And you know dramatic walking could only mean one thing, and that was a thing that Kacey did not like to think about.

"You're not going in there after them, are you?" Kacey asked her. Susan looked at her with one of those intensely serious faces and slung her quiver of arrows over her shoulder. Then, she pulled a very sharp and dangerous-looking dagger out of nowhere and stuck it on her belt with a menacing "shing!" sound. Kacey, Dani, and Lucy all involuntarily took a step back.

Crap. She _was_ going in there after them.

"Don't be stupid, you don't even know where they are!" For that, Dani received a glare that was completely un-Susan-like. In fact, this whole situation was completely un-Susan-like. If Kacey _did_ remember correctly, it was supposed to be "Responsible Susan", not "I'm-Going-All-Commando-On-You Susan". For Pete's sake (no pun intended here), this was the girl who wanted to go back through the wardrobe to get coats first because she didn't want to get cold, was it not?

"Susan, please," Lucy gave her sister her best pleading look, which, I must say, is a pretty darn good one. "I'm just as worried for them as you are, but they're right... You can't just go bursting through the forest by yourself, trying to find them... You'll get yourself hurt. Please try to act logically."

Susan closed her eyes and sighed at the word 'logical'. "I think I've done enough logical thinking for a lifetime, Lu. I cannot just sit here while our brothers are in mortal danger."

"But you don't even know if they're in mortal danger!" Kacey said. She was really starting to get frustrated- this was _not_ how Susan was supposed to act, and that mere fact really scared her.

"That letter was proof enough. I cannot imagine anyone else being able to do _that_," she stared pointedly at the piece of paper that Kacey still held in her hands.

Dani mumbled something about the paper not even being signed.

"It doesn't need to be signed. The kind of magic she put on that paper was recognition enough," Susan said, and then turned to Lucy. "You saw how I was with them just being out there, but this... You can't expect me not to do anything about it!"

Lucy looked at her, thinking about this for a moment. "Then let me come with you."

Kacey and Dani looked at her in alarm. What?! What was this?! Were they honestly leaving Cair Paravel in the hands of two certifiably insane teenage girls?! To go search for their brothers in the woods?! By themselves?! When there was an evil baddie out there with a revenge-seeking attitude and magical powers?!

This was _so_ not how the story was supposed to go.

Susan must have seen the bewildered expression on their faces because she immediately responded, "No, Lucy, you are staying at Cair. Please. We need someone to be here to give out orders, help protect it... in the case of an attack."

"Kacey and Dani can do it!"

"No, Lu. You have to stay here. Just... please. I'll find the boys, and I won't get myself into any trouble that isn't worth it. I promise."

Lucy bit her lip and looked at her sister before nodding her head tearfully. She knew full well that _any_ trouble would be worth it for Susan, if it meant helping their brothers, but still consented. She was fighting a losing battle.

The four of them stood around in awkward silence for a few minutes until a very alarmed-looking stable hand came into the courtyard, leading a large brown horse, already saddled. He quickly handed the reigns to Susan and then practically ran back into the castle... most likely to go warn somebody about Susan's unexpected little trip.

Susan looked at his retreating figure before sighing, "Well, looks like we don't have much time... Lucy-"

Susan was cut off by Lucy nearly tackling her to the ground with a hug. Okay, now here came the water-works for Kacey. Oh come on, any person with half a heart would tear up at the thought of Lucy first finding out that her brothers were basically getting a death sentence, and then her sister leaving to go risk her life to save them. So, for all the people who aren't crying out there, congratulations. You are now deemed heartless.

"Oh, Lu..." Susan sniffed, not bothering to wipe away her tears while Lucy clung onto her, crying into her shoulder.

When Lucy finally let go and stepped back, she could barely get a goodbye out. "Please take care of yourself, Susan. And bring our brothers back."

Susan nodded solemnly, and turned to mount her horse, but she felt somebody come up and hug her tightly again. "Oh, Lucy..."

Needless, to say, she was a bit alarmed when it wasn't Lucy, but Kacey hugging her tightly around the waist. And when Kacey finally let Susan mount her horse, she was very red and just mumbled, "Sorry... I just had a moment there..."

Susan gave her a teary smile and a pat on the head. It wasn't so much Susan's fault, since she was up on the horse, and it was the most convenient thing to do, but the pat on the head sort of made Kacey feel like she was the neighborhood dog- she felt much better, though, when Dani received a similar pat to the head.

"Girls... Please help my sister take care of Cair... And your other companions, too... Goodbye."

And with that, Susan turned and rode off through the gates, in a manner that _most definitely _deserved to be in slow motion. In fact, it was so dramatic that Kacey, who was Narnia fanatic and therefore inclined to imagine such things, was expecting Susan to have a 'Peter moment' and yell "FOR NARNIA!" as she rode away. Sadly, no such battle cry came, and the three girls were left to stand there and watch as Susan and her horse disappeared into the dense forests around Cair Paravel.

Then after a few moments, Kacey turned around and ran back into the castle, her destination already made up in her mind.

"Kace, where are you going?" Dani called out behind her.

Kacey turned around and managed to give her a small smirk, despite the present situation. "I'm going to do what a geek can only do at a time like this."

"Which is?"

"I'm going to the library."

* * *

woah... i didn't realize how long this was! nearly 4,000 words! i'm proud of myself! haha, anyways... confused yet? having thoughts such as "wait, but peter and edmund are fine!" and "oh no! what's going to happen to susan?" and "*gasps* how vould oreuis eat the treacle tart?!"? GOOD! oh yes... be confused... mhmmm... and as for you people who didn't cry, shame on you! haha, just kiddin'... i actually hope i didn't make any of you cry, since i hate people being sad, but i doubt that i did because i did try to add as much humor as i could in this chapter...

anyways, again, i am so, so sorry for the delay, but please still review! i just might _cry_ if you don't, and my review penguin, slappy has got a new buddy, the magical rainbow penguin, spock, and if you don't review... he will throw rainbows at you, and we all know how much those hurt!

-justplaincrazy8

p.s. i do hope that you enjoyed kacey's random thoughts in there... i was bored =D


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